Tdfu 18+!!!

The Daily **** Up

I was with a Tran for a few hours one night
then everything turned sour, and I was alone
with a broken heart once again (I wasn’t alright)
I took my time going home, I just walked alone

when I try to fly, when I try to see the path ahead
I **** up. I crash and burn, I just wish I was already dead
these daily **** ups are ******* me off, I just wish I had
a friend, someone to talk to about the good or bad times

it’s getting late, I’m trying to debate, think?
Write the night away? or go out for a lonesome walk?
(hey where you going?) out (okay be safe)

like you ******* care, I cant talk to you about anything,
so why bare, feelings that are not really there. Why act
(like you care)

It’s been two days, it’s 11:03pm. I don’t know
what to think of him. (I mean her). god she is
so ******* beautiful, I ******* love her, but
then (again) am I wrong to fall for someone who
doesn't love me? Or am I just A daily **** up?

I ask you with the softest voice, no touch of air.
I just want you to tell me what’s up?
Where did I go wrong? I’ve been up (for so long)

I’m crying without tears, afraid to fall in love,
because I know how it ends
I’m trying to be happy. I want to fit in.
outside my home, with other within some activity,

I know it will never work, cause so many tell me
I need to be, with those that look like me,
even though I feel like someone else I see, I am
just not meant to be. All signs point to death.
Suicide. The legth of this life means nothing to me

Author notes
NOTES FOR THE FREQUENT READER, (and anyone else) this piece focuses on a new found friend that turned out as... something else, others say that she(he) used me, i think i just let her/him in too easily. what do you think?
silentmisery silentmisery
18-21, F
May 22, 2012