A Change Of Poetry

{try and write something positive}

it's not a feeling of love over dark poetry.
but a natural default of how I write.
when I try and write something positive,
when I dont feel so happy or good,

I write like this. saying something,
no one likes to hear, speak of fear.
is it others souls, people, like me
who feel so lost, because they are

miserable, headstrong, dark?
or just so different. no one can handle them

I'm not talking of death or self harm
but just a dark method to write
just a way to occupy my thoughts
does that make sense?!

you say: yes, with an alternative answer
to my choice of how I write, giving me,
no choice or chance to speak for myself.
shaved down to a life of a dog, as this:

sit boy,
you can go out now,
be back when I say
and dont give me an opinion.

rules of a household, and beings of
natural,normal,humans. so why? (do i feel so controlled)
not really aloud to be myself.

I'm doing what you say, (or atleast, I'm trying)
I'm tryng not to cuss,
I'm trying not to yell at you
I cant keep this light.
dark is how I write,

I can keep it clean,
but the cleaner my poetry is,
the the deeper my intensity
the more you'll feel
the scars of what I write (feel this)

walk down the road with me
with anxiety attacks from nowhere
so much pain, until you blow
so intense it's hard to show someone,
(you're in so much pain)

for a change of poetry,
it's clean. see what i mean?

for a change of poetry,
for a change to write:
i'm not writing so dark,
and there's no language
so why do you want to change it?

is it really so bad? is it so dark you cant see?
am i talking about a word no one wants to hear?
is anything i've said so far, a lie or unknown?

do you know how to admit:
you're just as judgmental as my mother
scratch that: do you know how to admit that?

i'm not trying to put you on the spot (yes i am)
but you dont understand, half of what i say
or half of what you hear, because you're so full of fear
silentmisery silentmisery
18-21, F
Dec 3, 2012