Happiness Vs Keeping the Peace

It's obvious in this living situation my happiness is not taken into consideration, or is even supposed to be a passing thought.  If I bring it up, I'm being emotional!  If I try to talk about it, I'm throwing a monkey wrench in "our" plans!  THIS IS NOT MY LIFE PLAN!! 

I do not want to continue the best years of my life living in a non committed "friendship" because of another's fear of being alone. 

At what point did I loose control over my own future?  How could I have allowed myself to be lead by the nose for so long with an empty promise of MAYBE one day we'll be at a point to say to one another, you're who I want to spend the rest of my life with?  How can I continue to live in a state of suck'age, risking my own mental and emotional well being, for someone else's peace of mind?  Who's to say after 6 years of living and supporting him through his worst times, that he's going to stick around through good times, if they arise?

zencricket zencricket
31-35, F
Apr 19, 2007