Why I'm Here ... Part 1

At a turning point.  Something had to give, and quickly!  Still fearing the only thing that gave was my sanity, and my sense of self. 

This is going to be long, but will explain a lot. 

I was married at the time w/ two small boys.  My then hubby was in Basic Training.  My Sister introduced me to the internet while he was away, so I could pass the months away, and still interact with other adults.  I didn't have friends.  Lived about 10 miles outside of No Wheresville right smack in the middle of B.F.E.  I wasn't online to 'find' anything other than amusement to pass the months away till he got home.   This is when I happened across Jack in a general MSN chat room, or ... should I say, he happened upon me.  You know how you put out in the room ASL ... yea, did that.  Come to think of it, I think my first private message with someone was Jack.  But .. I degress.

Yes, A/S/L, and I see a lil window pop up and it says, "What part of (said state) you from?"  If I knew then, what I know now ... and if I only knew how that one sentence would change the rest of my life.  I'd not been on the computer or online for that long up until that point.  I'd not even carried on a conversation with a man for that long before!  Chatting eventually led to a phone call that night, another first for me.  Before we knew it, the sun was coming up, and I needed to get ready for work.  Talk about a monster phone bill ... we put new meaning to the word long distance!

I hadn't connected with another person, (outside of my Mom) let alone a man, the way I connected with Jack.  We instantly felt an attraction with one another.  Felt as if we were being drawn to one another.  We talked like this every night for nearly a month when he brought up meeting sometime. 

Meeting?!?  I was still married!  He was still married!  We had lives, REAL lives, outside of our phone conversations and IM's.  We lived nearly a thousand miles from one another.  How?  How in the world are we going to meet?  All I can say is, where there is a will, there is a way!  And not more than 3 months after our first phone call, I was making a road trip across country.  Looking back ... I'd made arrangements and plans LONG before I even knew what Jack looked like.  I didn't recieve a pic of him till the night before I took off.

Oh the gauntlet of feelings while driving!  Nervous, excited, guilty .... am I doing the right thing?  9 hours into the trip, and I'm exhausted!  Motel room, and a phone call to him.  Wake up bright and early, get myself back on the road to complete the 10 hour drive ahead of me.  I arrive early.  Pull into the McDonald's in town, and call him.  He's about 20 mins out, and on his way.  20 mins huh??  I have to sit here another 20 mins with these thoughts, these feelings?  Maybe I should turn around ... drive back home!  A blue truck pulls up beside me while I'm lost in 20 mins of questions and doubt, excitement and anxious thoughts.  I look over and there he is!  Jack!  Seeing him for the first time ... face to face.  He gets out of the truck and walks over to my door, and the first thought in my mind is, "Damn ... he's short!".  *blushes*  But ... there was that smile, and those eyes ... eyes as blue as the sky above us.  Eyes that looked upon me as if he knew my soul.  And he did ....

zencricket zencricket
31-35, F
1 Response May 2, 2007

Was he personality true to how he was on line? I was just curious how that worked out. I have never met anyone like that and I think its pretty cool. I think I might not be able to get up the nerve to do what you did out of the fear of the unknown. I love your story I would like to know how it ended.