Why I'm Here ... Part 4

I couldn't keep focused for the rest of the day after hearing his voice.  So many thoughts ran through my head.  So many unanswered quiestions left open for so long now about to be answered.  Did I really want to know the truth?  Was the fairy tale I imagined finally about to unfold? 

I left work a bit earlier than normal.  Picked up the boys from the sitter, and flew through the grocery store like a mad woman.  Did he REALLY ask what I thought about having a house guest, or was it my imagination?  How is that possible?  "Jeeze, woman!", I tell myself, "Calm down and let him actually call before you go jumping to any conclusions".

I get back to the apartment.  Kids and grocery's in tow.  I start dinner.  Standing over the stove, stirring, and the phone rings.  I jump out of my skin!  It rings 3 times before my oldest comes into the kitchen and asks if I'm actually going to answer it.  Oh!  Yes!  Answering might actually help.  I pick up the reciever, and with a nervous squeek in my voice, I hear myself say, "Hello?".  I hear a woman's voice, and I hear her ask for someone I had never heard of.  Wrong number. False alarm.  I hang up the phone and just look at it.  Walking back to the stove, I tell myself to pull it together.

Dinner done and ate.  Bath time for the boys.  Story books and kisses.  And I've got the apartment all to myself, but still no phone call other than the wrong number.  I pace.  What a horrible feeling this is.  Waiting. 

I decide to relax with some hot tea, and a bubble bath.  Candles, soft mysic, my tea, and a steaming bath will calm my already shot nerves.  My nerves are shot, and he's not even called yet.  I ask myself, "What are you going to do when this man walks in your door one day, if you can't pull yourself together for a damn phone call?". 

I lay back in the bath, hair up, all is quiet except for the fait sound of soft music.  I close my eyes, and see Jack.  That smile. Those beautiful blue eyes.  I recall upon the way it felt to be in his arms.  For the first time in nearly 6 months I allow myself to remember how that felt.  Only this time, to recall upon that feeling, didn't leave me in tears.

I'm jolted out of my dream like state to the sound of the phone ringing.  I've never gotten out of the tub so fast!  In a super woman motion, I'm out of the tub, throwing on my robe.  I fling open the bathroom door and bolt down the hallway to the phone in a flash.  A bit out of breath, I answer.  A pause.  An eternity!  Then I hear ...

"Hey Kiddo!  How've you been?"

I don't recall a lot of the conversation.  I know questions were answered.  Hope was restored.  And plans for the end of October were in the works.  I was really going to see him again!  He had gotten orders for the East coast.  He had 3 months between Posts to kill, and he couldn't think of a better way to kill them, than to spend it with me.

From that day forward it was phone calls and IM's daily, sometimes twice or more, until he showed up in October.  We were making plans again.  This time ... they were coming together quite nice. 

The closer the time drew near for him to walk through my front door, the more I fell in love with this man.  A man I talked to the first night across miles via the internet.  A man I connected with over phone calls.  A man I was spiritually connected with physically.  For the first time, I knew what others meant when they spoke of a soul mate. 

zencricket zencricket
31-35, F
May 2, 2007