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Need To Vent!

Okay, i live in Southern California with both my parents. Let me tell you that i think i am honestly losing my sanity!! I do wish to  live a more adult lifestyle but due to money restrictions i cannot afford to move out. I have an extremely poor relationship with my "father" and an okay one with my mother. I am an only child- which you would think is great right? NO. I do NOT and never have been spoiled. That would be quite convenient if they even cut me some slack and lended me just five dollars! My so called "father" is a perfectionist, and let me tell you i don't reach anything near his idea of a "perfect" daughter. Well, he wanted a son anyway. He takes care of one of my male friends more than me, bought him a $200 concert ticker, took him out to lunch, invites him over for superbowl, to go fishing, ect... But the messed up part his he treats me horribly, which is just plain sad. He will treat my friends better than his own blood? He hardly even lets me live here! I get kicked out randomly and yet he offers to take him my friend if he is having issues with his family...let me tell you something Scott, ("father") ****. YOU. Living on the streets caused less stress than living here! Honestly i'm losing my sanity and i just can't keep doing this any longer..I can't take his verbal abuse, emotional abuse anymore. The psychical abuse stopped last year when i ended up in jail for SELF-DEFENSE! Ridiculous!  Since then i have been off and on living here, but i can't stand this much longer.  I need to move out ASAP, even if it means living on the streets again. I ******* hate him, and he hates me. Just **** you Scott. It doesn't help that my job search has failed. Out of 60 apps i got one interview, didn't get the job either. Definitely hard times for all of us financially. I just needed to vent, otherwise i think i'd punch another hole through something!
xSinfulxPleasurex xSinfulxPleasurex 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 28, 2012

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I know what you mean it is ard when you do not have a good job to move out on your own but you want to have mmore freedom.

I feel your pain...I am struggling for independence mainly because of:

- discontentment with the neighborhood's demographics
- different travel desires
- differences in my day-to-day life's operations and theirs.
- feeling 'double teamed'

and I often wonder how much longer I can take it before I buckle because like you, everything in me is saying GTFO but my bank account is going "stay the !@#$ put"

aw so sad