Used And Abused...

I am 30, but I feel much older than that! I have been with my husband for almost 8 yrs and it's been a roller coaster ride! I have been used and abused thru this whole relationship; all the way to the beginning! First of all, why the hell do I chose the wrong men!? Why do I always lead towards the wrong guys and knowing they are wrong from the start! The "Hot Boys" the jerks with attitude; the Players! So now is the part when I would fall apart but I seem to be doing better today! I have recently found out that once again that he is cheating! Talking to somebody else, and seeing somebody else! Now after 5 yrs of this on going thing he had done repeatly, that I would learn! Nope, didn't learn after alot of times of catching him with his phone or him being gone all nite! Wtf, Im so stupid! But now I finally kicked him out for good, I am stronger now cuz before I would be at the ******* door, beating her head in! LOL, not really but close! So this time I have let him go, but it is hard! It's hard not thinking of all the good times; when I should be thinking of the bad times! Like the times where he has pushed me so hard into a door that it bruised my whole freakin arm! Or the other times where he has mentally abused me so bad that I acutally think that I am what he says I am! A *****, ****, stupid ugly fat cow! Man, I fell hard! Now I'm doing better; thinking that I'm not those things, that I am a actual person! A human being with feelings, but of good things about myself! I say Screw Him!! He's the one whos all those things, not me. And she will see one day, someday He will play her the way he did me! She will make him mad one day and he will go off like he did me! One day, He will PAY! Now for me, I will sit back and watch the whole thing and laugh silently! Peace.... for me
throwawaymyweddingringat30 throwawaymyweddingringat30
31-35, F
1 Response Dec 14, 2012

You're venting because you're angry. Deep down inside, you're dying. You forgive him each time for the last 8 years because you're insecure...you feel like if he left you, nobody else would love you. He tells you that you're a fat, ugly cow but he goes back to you every time because he knows you have low self-esteem. He knows that you'll always be his rebound sex when the hot girl he really wanted was too good for him...

A few months later, he will come begging for you...telling you that he was wrong and that you were the one that was meant for him after...all. He was in the wrong..he made a mistake. He wants you back...

What do you do?

You get back together...everything goes well for a week....maybe two weeks...

He cheats on you again.

...Please don't go back to him.

You're only 30 years old.

You're probably very beautiful. You're probably a wonderful person with lots of amazing traits whom a wonderful man had been searching for years and years...but couldn't find.

...Wait for him. He will find you.

<3 Good luck

Sweetxapple