Love Hurts

So there is this boy that I went out with last year for seven months that I broke up with.I don't really know why but I wish I didn't!it was in may.then in september I went out with this other person and that lasted like two months.It just wasn't working out.So me and my first ex were still really good friends but as we started talking more and hanging out I became so much closer to him than before. I basically Loved him so much.I wanted to go back out with him again but I could never ask because I'm really shy.At first I didn't understand why he didn't ask either because we were always together and he's not as shy.he'd hold my hand and give me hugs and stuff all the time.It was like this for like 5 months.My friends and even my mom said we should go back out and he just wouldn't say anything. But finally like a month ago I got the worst message on my myspace.He told me he didn't want to go out again or lead me on at all because he was gay.I completly except that and we are still the best of friends but he doesn't even know how much that killed me inside!it still does and I hate it!I still have feelings that I just can't get rid of no matter what and it sucks cuz I know nothing is ever gonna happen anymore.Idon't think I ever loved someone like I loved him.He didn't even realize that,but he doesn't care either.If he only knew how much I cried over him.I was on the phone with him when he gave me the message and he didn't even know I was crying.I could barely talk.And he said he wanted to tell me to my face so he could give me a hug.I wish he did so he could have saw how much that hurt me.I hate love!
Mikobaygerfrank123 Mikobaygerfrank123
18-21, F
2 Responses May 28, 2007

I simply can't advocate for hating love, because love is the only thing that supersedes ourselves. Everybody loves, even the person who commented about hating love. People with that perspective are really saying the love themselves more than anything or anyone else.<br />
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But I understand your pain. My God has given me an intense and passionately loving heart. I've learned that I must choose very carefully who to love, or I would be destroyed by the pain it brings. But we can't always stay safe. With love comes both joy and pain. I've chosen to truly love only a few people (could count 'em on one hand). My parents are the only ones who don't hurt me, but they aren't my closest love. The one I love now is, well, a long story. Suffice it to say, she broke through every barrier I put up to protect my heart, and only a week later everything changed. We both still love each other, but I love her more; and not having the reciprocated causes me a lot of pain.<br />
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Instead of giving up on love. Protect your heart at all costs, and only ever give your heart totally to your husband, when you get married. and find a man that is also protecting his heart for the one he will love for the rest of his life. Best of luck to you, wherever you're at now.

You can't be mad at him. Peoples' orientations change all the time. And from what it sounds like, he was being exceptionally nice about it. <br />
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But here's something you can do; never forget this incident. Let it be a stepping stone for your entering into the anti-love community. Never let your hatred for love go. Hold onto it and never become romantically involved again.