Tired And Weary Of Dating

I am a 29 year old woman and I have found myself in a position where I am single with what I could only describe as a 'dire and diabolical' history with men.

I have been dating for about 10 years with more or less nothing particularly meaningful to show for it and obviously at this point now, I'm tired and weary of it all. I've had 2 relationships and quite a lot of flings. 1 of the relationships was quite meaningful and lasted for a year and a half but that was when I was 20, so it was a long time ago. With the other relationship, it lasted 8 or 9 months and he was incredibly stingy and very immature despite being older than me. Then I have had a series of flings with good looking guys but in most of these cases, they left me after 6 weeks/2 months.

  Then couple of years ago I went out with a guy who was being sly with money, borrowing money not paying me back, never driving me home from his when it cost me a fortune to get home in a taxi, not giving me change from money I gave him, the list goes on of the things he did. That obviously ended because I'm not a mug! This for me was like the icing on the cake, I just thought how unlucky can one girl be??!! And I also just thought how unfair the whole thing is that I can't meet a decent, sweet guy and instead just have 1 let down after another, I honestly don't know any other girl who has had as much bad luck as me, I would love to meet her if there is one, thats probably why i'm on here writing this! None of my friends or their friends have met as many wasters as I have, so it's only natural that I am resentful and ask myself, why me? why am I having such a constant run of bad luck because I definitely don't go out looking for these types of guys. I just think it's terribly unfair.

 I can honestly say I've been hurt about 10 times, some hurts were worse than others and I just want it to stop. I'm not a bad person, I think I'm decent and honest, I'm certainly not desperate or clingy. But now I've just become hardened and deeply cynical and just can't take men seriously at all anymore. 10 years ago, I probably would have thought that by now, I'd be with someone really lovely and maybe on the road to getting married, like alot of my frends are.  I never could have forseen all this happening.  Now, when I meet  a guy I put up  a barrier and automatically think, what is the point, it will probably be over in a month,either he will lose interest or he will turn out to be a complete jerk.

senorita86 senorita86
26-30, F
3 Responses Feb 9, 2010

Hey, don't think you are the only one!!! I have had so many bad encounters with men, it is crazy. But on the other hand is it me? I have to ask myself this question, I have been in one long term relationship, where I left him, and then a marriage which I left (because of abuse). I have had countless flings and my best friend says that I am the the problem because I am commitment phobic. SO YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE!!! I have had enough of men and the games they play, but then I don't know am I the one playing? I have met a really nice guy but and I think this one is a bit different? Well I hope so? Well here is a little post about my struggles with men just to tell you, you aren't the only one out there. And I am so sorry I just read what I wrote and it is a little confusing.

thanks for the nice comment. Sorry to hear about your bad luck.<br />
Here's hoping 2010 will be a good year for us in that department :)

What awful luck you've had....I think it's just luck though. I dunno. I do know that at 50!, I've encountered the same luck in women so, no, you are not alone! Keep smiling!