Mind Games Mess You Up

I am a survivor of child abuse, I still find it difficult to elaborate, suffice to say I ended up selling myself thinking this was love, I seemed to have spent my young adult life lurching from one failed abusive relationship to another. Used by all, claiming they loved me, cutting me off from friends and what little family I thought cared for me and introducing their family, their friends, isolating me. Saying one thing doing another constantly undermining my self esteem, self confidence till there was nothing left except suicide, yes I did seriously contemplate suicide to the point of taking a cocktail and pills, I was lucky enough to have been found by the police.

I then fell in love with another survivor we have had a wonderful relationship since, but 18 years ago (8 years into our open relationship) we both fell for the charms of what we thought was a lovely man. To our horror and dismay we have just found out he has been using our own open honesty nature to feed us lies and deceit. He has been play Mind Games, we now feel as if we don’t know who this man is, he has used every trick to manipulate at every opportunity our feelings and emotions.

We not only feel betrayed and used but we are unable to get any answers as to why? What for? We are at the moment trying to fathom all this out. And all he does is shrug his shoulders and smile as if nothing has happened, and another lie drip from his lips. We even asked his mother only for her to say nothing so not to get her son into trouble.

The domestic violence councillor our doctor put us in contact with, says we should just leave. Why should we leave our home? If anyone leaves it will be him.
badbear69 badbear69
51-55, M
Aug 5, 2010