I'm awake, but still haunted by dreams of goddesses trying to lure me with their sweet faces and womanly bodies, in order to devour me with their longing. And so for me this morning is like discovering an ending, where a beginning should be. I pee while I brush my teeth, with eyes hardly open enough to see. I stare up at a spider still dead in his web, dangling, maybe even floating and free of gravity. My stomach screams it's hungry, but I'm way too woozy to eat anything. And once I realize that I am out of coffee, I immediately start looking for a way out of this ubiquitously average day; searching the cracks and shadows for a hidden door out of this tight place, this ever shrinking space. And I usually wake up feeling late, but for what, I am never quite able to state. But what I can say, is that for this life I must continue to pay with my sweat, blood, tears, and heart ache. And in return, I only get a taste of what I need to be at peace, and gain just an inch towards where I must be to be happy, and so never is there enough of what could save me. If only I could overdose on your beauty, fall in love with you too deeply, as I forever sink into you slowly. However, we have not met yet, and so I must make the best of this blurry facsimile of a day, while going with the flow of my boring workload, so I can once again return home to find my evening welcoming me. For it is in the rocking arms of the evening where I may forget my struggles and lose my troubles once more, until the morning reminds me of the toll I am still yet to pay.