12 Years On The Merry Go Round

Despite us probably being very different people from various corners of the world, our experiences of the alcoholic partner are almost mirrored. Like so many others, my relationship started with us both drinking socially. We grew up in the 'golden era' of binge drinking (uk) the difference being, I stopped, he didn't. He's 41 and won't stop when he's had enough. 12 years of him slurring sweet nothing's, disappearing, spending all the money, getting into fights and trouble, having accidents leading to hospitalisation, wetting the bed, denying, blaming, self-pitying, excusing........ I think you all get and know the point. Yes I love him but I hate him too. I want him to leave and stay away. He will probably end up homeless but I need to stop caring about what happens to him and concentrate on myself. I'm 33 and have a chance to be happy again. Alcohol is a demon but so is the person who over-uses it.
Redlesweb Redlesweb
6 Responses Dec 2, 2012

my advice he is not going to change your still young go for it , I have 26 yrs of living with alcoholic husband so I understand believe me get out now !

I don't see how you have made it that long... I've been dealing with my wife for a year

Hello. I hope that things have improved for you. If not, you are welcome to read my story here. I hope it helps you. God bless. http://truefeminismnaphtali.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-taming-of-shrew.html

Take care of you. You will never change him.

The cycle is hard to break, I am trying again to keep my alcoholic husband away and not let him back- it never gets better, everyone knows that. Whenever you find yourself justifying taking him back, STOP, think about your relationship: have you been happy or resentful, have you been proud or embarrassed, have you felt like part of a team or isolated. It may take a while but you always know that it will never change and it will never work. I am 34, I would like to be happy again just like you. No more looking back :)

it will only get worse and worse,take control of everything and kick him to the curb with a few dollars to drink with and get on with your life,33 is a beautiful age