Nasty Cycle

I have recently kicked my drunken husband of 10 years out AGAIN!! This time he was "talking" to his ex-girlfriend via hidden text messages and phone calls. (I busted him really drunk texting her that he loves and misses her.)It has been seven days and this is just about the time I start getting late night drunken phone calls,text messages, or he just shows up.I fall weak to to my own sadness,and the diffuculty in keeping him away.At first he just wants to come over for a few hours and works me over and i end up feeling guilty for his alcohol abuse and I let him back in.Our relationship has been violent.His addiction has not only affected myself but my entire family. We have two beautiful children that are constantly affected . They have already been through so much and their faith in myself and in their father completely gone.I want this time to different to break this nasty cycle that has made me the shell of the person I once was. I really love my sober husband but I don't think he exists anymore.I feel very alone and lost.