My Baby Daddy Is A Bigger Baby

Right now i hate my babys daddy, he has been a recovering heroin addict since i met him. I may be nieve and too trusting but never knew for the first two years of our relationship. He has made my life a misery. I constantly worry about what he is doing and has turned me into a worrying nag. i really believed that he was never going back to drugs but he will still use about every three months well thats when i caught him out, he will never admit it and lies constantly. he has tantrums like a baby, gets angry, is unreasonable and is also very good at making me feel sorry for him. When i fell pregnant he never ever looked after me, never felt my tummy, it seemed as though he just didnt notice. My daughter was prem 34 weeks and had a twisted bowel. He would turn up to the hospital pinned and i could see it but was so embaressed i just couldnt say anything. Cherry had surgery on her second day life and he wanted to go home and feed the dog (use drugs), i couldnt believe it. Cherry was in hospital for two months, I stayed by her side for 16 hours a day. When he came in after work he would say lets go the nurses will look after her, it felt like he just didnt care. When cherry came home i thought that would bring on daddy mode but iwas wrong. He didnt do anything for her or me, he reckons working was his thing to help, yeah it helps but i needed more. Cherry is 10 months old now and at 8 months he started to really enjoy her. I felt confident that he would never do drugs around her but oh yes i was wrong about that to. I went away for a night (sisters birthday) and he was in charge. i was so happy for him that he could have his little bubba all to himself. When i got home the following afternoon he was pinned and i just died, a primal scream came out me, he has lied cried and made me feel for him but really i just hate him, i cant look at him and want to shake him. I also hate myself for not being strong enough to get my baby out of this situation. Thank you for listening
dbridger dbridger
31-35
Jul 24, 2010