I Hate Him...

Run as far and as fast as you can. It only gets worse from here unless they are willing to get help for their mental issues. I say this because I was exactly in your shoes two years ago. I ran into a man that I jad known back in high school one night when I was out with a friend of mine. A one night stand led to dating and two months later.....pregnant!!!! Needless to say he accussed me of carrying someone else's child the entire time, called me names, said f*** that baby!, and anything ugly under the sun that he could muster. He claims that he only did this because he overheard me telling another guy that I wasn't planning on marrying him. Why would I? This isn't the 50's, and people do not really get married for the sake of children any longer, and I hardly knew him (which really makes an argument for the whole "wait before you sleep with him" idea). Plus, he drinks...alot. I drink too, but not to the extreme. I am more of a social drinker.



Anyway, I stayed and kept telling myself that he would be fine once he got the paternity test and saw that the child was his. I was supportive of him getting one because I wanted him to know that this child belonged to him most definitely.He got the sample behind my back, while I went to the store, which I thought was pretty crappy. I do not like the idea of a "hostile" party hovering over my son and swabbing whatever hole he could stick a q-tip in. He got the results back and announced it like I should be happy about it. Nope, not one bit...more like offended.



His treatment of me stayed the same. He told me I was fat, stupid, lazy, a bad mother, yadda, yadda. I suffered horribly from depression during the pregnancy and from post partum for about a year after the pregnancy. I left for a little while after the "baptism blow up," I call it. He decided that the night the child was baptized he would go out drinking with a friend, came home drunk again, and I lost it. I started throwing whatever I could at him, and he threw me in front of my child.



I moved out. We have been in intensive couseling both seeing therapists together as a couple and separately. I still loathe him. He still tells me what I need to be doing to lose weight, what kind of job to get, how to look.....but now I just smile, pour another soda, crack open a small bag of chips (because I really do want to lose weight, I only watch my calories when he is not around - so that I do not have to look like I am being affected by what he says...I have 6lbs to go before reaching pre-preg weight).



Girl, all I am saying is you can do bad all by yourself. You will share your home with your husband and child, so make sure that it is a home of love, stability, and security - because yuor home is your refuge against the outside world. Make it a place of peace.

Honey, there is a reason that people get into these types of relationships. The reason is because both parties have mental health issues. So we know that he has bipolar disorder from what you stated in your story. Have you been evaluated by a psychiatrist or psychologist to see if you have bipolar disorder too? It's very common in the on and off type relationships. I would look into it.



I hope things come together for you soon.



Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," Says the Lord. "Plans to prosper you and not harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future."