I Cut Off Contact With Her

I'd been best friends with her since we were 5. She moved away when we were little, but we always kept in contact. I told her everything, but she was always SO negative and mean to me. She'd basically in so many words tell me I'm not good enough, that I have no self esteem, that I "go for guys I can't ever have". About a year ago I'd cut off contact with her for a few months because she'd really hurt me. I needed time away from her because I couldn't handle her negativity towards me anymore. After a few months we started talking again (after she initiated contact) and things were alright and back to normal. Then she started to be mean to me again. A month ago I got my heart broken by a guy, and she told me I was "being ridiculous" and "just needed to get over it". Then she went off on me telling me I was a home wrecker (I slept with a good friend who is engaged) and everything else. I didn't even respond to her, I just had to cut her out of my life. It's been a month, and we still haven't talked. She wrote to me to apologize, but I didn't answer. I just can't take her negativity and attitude towards me anymore, especially when I'm already in a very delicate state as is because of this guy. Unlike last time, I never have desires or think about texting her to say something that happened. After almost 20 years as being best friends, I'm so ready to just let it go. Maybe some day, when I'm happy again and happy with myself, we can be friends. But until then, I need to surround myself with people who are positive and concerned with helping me through my problems and heart break rather than telling me I'm not good enough.