I Can't Quite Put My Finger On Exactly Why.

There are so many things about him and just the whole situation that are huge turnoffs.  Some are kind of on her, I'll be honest, but the whole thing reminds me of the strange attraction animals have to anti-freeze.  Apparently they think it tastes good, but the results are always tragic.

1.  She's 23.  He's 33, and a delivery driver for Domino's.  I know in this economy one can't be incredibly choosy when it comes to employment, but he's working there since he was 20.  Yes, he can obviously hold down a job, but it just shows such an overwhelming amount of complacency and lack of ambition.  Huge turnoff.

2. She is still legally married.  Do I really need to explain this?

3. They've only been together for about a month, and she spends the night at least three times a week.  That's more than a little excessive.  Whenever I try to communicate with her in almost anyway, I feel like I can't say anything because he's ALWAYS around, and, call me a *****, but sometimes I like to talk some serious smack.

4. If you've dated someone before, and didn't break up due to distance or something similar, you shouldn't expect your relationship to change.  My father will still always tell me "things change, but people never do."  It's something he's unfortunately proven to me time and time again.

5. When they first got together, he was with both another girl and her.  After like a week, he chose to leave the other girl.  What makes her so sure he won't do the same for her when he sees something better?

6. There's just something about him that I find both insanely creepy and insanely sketchy.  Maybe it's all the bondage gear or the fact that he can't seem to understand why I, a vegetarian, do not want to eat chicken.

7. I'm not so sure I like who she is when he's around.  She changes, and I've had this issue with boyfriends from her past, too.  Maybe I just need to find a new best friend.

Maybe I'm just bitter.  It's no secret that I have some pretty hardcore trust issues when it comes to men, whereas she seems to trust almost every guy she meets.  I don't ever want her to the same trust issues I do, and if she starts developing those with this guy, I will rip him a new one.

Edit: that's it.  I'm ending my friendship with her.  It's just not worth it any more.  She's so fixated on him I'm practically ignored, and then she tries to make me the bad guy because I see what a tool her boyfriend is.  I'm done.

lepamplemousse lepamplemousse
22-25, F
1 Response Feb 9, 2010

Hmm...Well, as a guy who was hated by my girlfriends friends - You say you can't put your finger on why you don't like this guy, neither could these girls that couldn't stand me. That is a natural protective instinct women have, and should not be taken as being "bitter" or without trust. <br />
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It is well documented that many men like to fool around and toy with emotions as if they were unbreakable toys. Women see this, and have for a long time, and so the natural reaction to a guy who is not....let's say...blatantly nice....is to be suspicious. For example. I have a hard time expressing myself to people, especially those close to my girlfriend. So for the longest time, when they would come around, I would find some excuse to leave. Mainly because I hate to be under the microscope, and that is exactly what was going on. I was being analyzed by these women, some were even searching to the point of obsession to find something, anything wronf with me. Luckily, her friends like me now, as they see I am not some sex addict out to take their friend, and leave her.<br />
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While I am just one case, that doesn't mean that this guy you speak of is like me. The fact that he left one girl for her after only a week, and her being married - All red flags. You definitely need to keep a close eye on your friend to keep her safe - But also, you need to take up force and knock sense into her head for screwing around when she is married.