I Hate My Birthay More That Ever

I  always hated it or didn’t like..after my mothers death I started to hate it more because all trouble became to happen…………my life became a nightmare, my mother always tried best to make that day more nice….
I hated when people started to say happy birthday and wish all those things that never came true. Never. I always cried. This year I thought will be different…my birthday I mean, I thought it will be with him…with my love, and with my father, full of light and happeness…but it happened to be the darkes t birthday in my life full of tears and pain, physical and moral. All day I cried,looked and his photos and didn’t understand still how that happened that he left me, how so fast he changes mind and forgot promises…..so fast he changed in less than a month….the man that I will love all my life, I am sure of myself. The only love in my 35 old years life. I trusted him so much that believed every word and he always kept them when he needed me, when he didn’t need me more he changed,,,,all is forgotten. Didn’t think that that year my birthday will be like that , the worst in my life….in 2 weeks will be a year since we first met, since our first kiss,,,,
It were my mistakes I know but not so big to leave me forever
I hate my birthday more than ever and I wished it would never came again
noname22 noname22
31-35, F
4 Responses Jul 11, 2010

i cant be happy without him..as i never was before him i will not be and after he left...he is all i had!!

happiness is never lost....it is dere in side u ...lov is always inside u ..u will b happy again..u ve every right to b happy....dont think u cant...dont force happines away from u ..

yes thanks we cant talk....but lost happiness willl not return

Thank you for responding to my story, so i will respond to yours. As unhappy as we may be, the underlining fact is we are still here. I know there is hope and other people like us, or we would not have found this place. The thing that should keep you going is, it sounds like you went through alot with your feelings of him, and there are people here to talk. I am struggling myself, but came here to maybe find people to talk to about it, and give support to whomever I can. Keep your head up, stand tall and laugh.......it all may sound dumb, but it does help.