My Birthday Is Always a Sad Day For Me
i turn 22 tomorrow (april 3rd) and its just a day im absolutely just not looking forward to. I havent had a birthday party since i was 5 years old. my birthdays after that just seemed insignificant to others. my whole life ive been to birthday parties of my friends and relatives and the celebrants seem to always get the attention they deserve and remain to be "the life of the party". they have their close friends and family showing that they care about them and provide all joyous feelings in the parties, not forgeting the presents of course. ive even helped plan birthday parties to really close friends to show how much i cared about them. the very sad thing about all of it is that ive never received this kind of treatment since my 5th birthday party. its part of human nature that everyone wants to feel appreciated. honestly, ive never felt appreciated on my birthday. ill only get a birthday greeting from my mom, my sister, and at the most, only 1 friend. ive realized that most of the people i know just happened to have more important things to be concerned about than my own birthday. trust me, ive always dreamed about having a surprise birthday party where i get a ton a presents and everyone sings happy birthday, along with an awesome birthday cake. ive never had it, and it still breaks my heart. i believe the everyone i know is stuck in their own world and would rather stay that way than to set aside time to celebrate my birthday with me. i dont know why is that, im guessing im just not of any importance in that manner. even my own boyfriend doesnt plan on what he will do on this special day. this sounds bad, but he would rather spend the day watching nascar or worrying on getting his car fixed (thats what hes been doing for the past week). he hasnt mention or thought about how we will celebrate it. whenever my birthday approaches, it becomes such a painful thought instead of an exciting event. i always wish that i can feel appreciated on my birthday. as i turn 22, ive decided to try to make a change. as no one really cares about the day i entered the world, ive decided to spoil myself a little, just to make up for all the lonely birthdays ive had all these years. possibly a shopping spree, or a trip to the spa!