What The Hell Was She Thinking?

I always knew I was adopted from the time I was old enough to understand. My birth mother decided to rock my world when I was 13, the phone rang in our house and I answered, the lady asked to speak to my mom by name, when I asked who was on the line so I could tell her, she said tell her your mom is on the phone, and I am calling about taking you back....... I freaked the hell out, could this ***** really take me from my family???  She sure as hell tried, she had lawyers and all kinds of ****. All she really wanted was a babysitter for my half sister.  She didn't accomplish anything but ******* off my mom and causing me to hate her. I did meet her when I was 20 she told me she didn't approve of my life style, and also sent a letter to my mom. Her mother told my mom that she still believed that she should have aborted me, I am 42 now and the old ***** still says that....... 
My birth mother told me that my bio father had been killed in an accident. I found out at 22 that was a lie, he was and is very much alive, and we have a great relationship. His family wanted to keep me, her family had him arrested, and sent her out of state to give birth, he was never giving any info on me, I approached him, not knowing if he wanted to know me or not, he had been trying to find information on me, I don't know the reasons behind why my bio mother felt she needed to lie, but her lies and her saying she didn't approve me did not set a good first impression, I thank god, she didn't keep me, I hate to think I could have turned out to be a cold hearted ***** like her!!  Instead of kind, caring and compassionate nurse that I am.  I know it isn't right to hate. But I truly have no feelings for her. Also I met my half brother at the same time, and tried to have a relationship with him, I haven't seen him or had contact with him for 14 years; not since he tried to rape me. (great family huh?)   
I know that somewhere there are adoptee's that met their birth mom's and it is great, mine is a horror story......... however meeting my bio father has been a happy story that has not reached it's end.   

I do feel better knowing that I am not the only one who feels hate for their birth mother.   
hatesthelyingbitch hatesthelyingbitch
May 13, 2012