I Don't Want To Hate My Body!

I think for most of my life I have been on a diet. My mother just wanted to make sure I wasn't "fat" like her. She wanted to make sure that the other kids didn't make fun of me. I have seen pictures of her and I don't see where she was every really fat. I would say more normal then anything...average. I have always been the bigger girl out of my friends but I really wouldn't say fat. I lost a lot of weight, about 30lbs, 4 and half years ago. Since then though I have slowly but surly put everything back on. I really have tried so many diets. I am human and cheat once a week but not in the beginning. I have done the diets that work and I see an improvement but when someone takes a picture of me I look FAT! I look at my self in that picture and I'm like "who is that??" that isn't me. I know what I look like. I see myself in the mirror every day. Yea I am 4 sizes bigger then I was 4 years ago but really I don't feel like I look that bad...most of the time. I don't lie to myself. I know that I'm not going to be strutting a bikini anytime soon but I wear clothes that fit me. Really though I just cant win. I eat whole wheat bread, egg whites, diet soda, sugar free fudge sickles. I also exercise. What else can I do? I have already figured that maybe I should make sure that I burn 500 calories 5 days a week so that I can start loosing a pound every week. Will that work? I am getting married in a little over a year so more then anything I want to be able to look back and say...wow...everything is perfect. Really for that one day is it so much to ask?? I want to see what my fiance sees in me and right now....I just can't.
alstona alstona
22-25
3 Responses Jul 9, 2010

Becnme- I have to say your saying makes sense. Minimouse-thank you so much for your comment. It's so nice to hear from other women one on one feeling the same way I do. I will try and take your advice to heart.

I take a saying with me nowadays "What everybody else thinks is none of my business". Your fiancé sees a lot more than what you see in the mirror.

Hey, I am a BIG girl but I feel so sexy and happy with myself and my husband loves me as I am. I think what you should concentrate on is feeling sexy with your man, learning - as you yourself say - to see what it is he sees in you. Talk to him about it, get into sexy lingerie, whatever you can do to make yourself feel desireable! If you can seriously, honestly look in the mirror and think "Well maybe I have few extra pounds but you know what - I am hot!!" The it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks or says. Feeling sexy is something most women take for granted but something we bigger girls have to sometimes struggle to feel. But you're lucky - you have a man who loves you as you are and will be more than happy so see you enjoying your newfound sexiness. Give it a whirl!