Not Eating Yet I Grew Weight

So basically all my life I've been I guess average weight, I never really cared before until I had a boyfriend at 16 which made me question my weight. I would try to cut down my eating habits and such, I never had a eating problem like bulimia and such but I did cut everything completely until my ex-boyfriend told me I still looked and felt fat which broke my heart and from that we broke-up. I then did everything to lose weight and I did which made me so happy especially when I then got together with my current boyfriend and I was happy until recently, I've been desperately looking for a job and lately I've just been getting rejected which increased I guess you can say a depression and I didn't care about going to the gym or working out, I just sat in a slump and sadly I gained around 10 extra pounds in 2 months. Lately I did try to go to gym but I haven't been going continuously since I had a friend accompany me but lately I just felt like what's the point especially the fact I can't get a job now which made me feel like crap. Now I'm about to see my boyfriend next week (since he's currently in another state studying for his major) and I'm so ashamed to what I have become....my weight is 162 pounds, my BMI says I am overweight for my age and height.....I feel like **** now.....I don't know what to do anymore, I hate my belly and I hate myself for not having a stronger metabolism.....I don't know what to do with myself....
Adriana77 Adriana77
22-25, F
1 Response May 11, 2012

I believe you have to forgive yourself, for not accepting yourself for who you are, for allowing others to determine how you see yourself, and to know that it's ok to have the body you have. I'm an overweight guy myself, have been most of my life. I now go to the gym and feel great that I have more energy and mobility. I do it mostly for myself. I don't let anyone's hateful attitude diminish my spirit and you shouldn't either. If people make you feel bad, put them aside. You must build inner strength before you choose how to view yourself. I hope this helps you.