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This Body Is Not Fit For A Princess Or Ingenue Role And I Hate It!

I'm an aspiring actress and singer who hopes getting into Broadway or Hollywood. My dream roles are to play Christine in Phantom and any princess like Belle or Ariel from the Broadway versions and can do their voices well. But there's one problem: My body. Since 2006, I have dieted in the Jenny Craig program and lost 50lbs and almost out of the 199 thanks to a big push during a dance summer camp. Sometimes I feel like I'm not gonna have enough time to play my dream roles and my body isn't losing weight fast enough! Like one post said that says exactly how I feel: "I am not happy with the way I look at all. I hate my body so much, there are seriously times where I just want to take a knife to every imperfection I have, and just cut it all up and destroy it for good. It really hurts to look in the mirror sometimes" and that really happened! I did take a knife and wanted to just gut myself for being so fat! But my parents tell me my weight's fine with my height but I really think Broadway will not be able to accept this body in their costumes! To make things worse for me, my friend told me his company will mount "Beauty and the Beast" for next year and there will be open auditions! I really want to say to his director that "I will wish to die if I don't get the role of Belle and you tell me this is all of the "search for a type of physique" bs"! Seriously if I don't play what I dreamt of I will go on hating my body forever!
Starfishgirl Starfishgirl 26-30, F Jul 11, 2012

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