Weight Others Love, Even Though I Hate

okay, so i am a 20 year old woman, i weigh. (135? i'm not sure) but under 140. anyways i HATE MY BODY, and i cant seem to do anything about it, i cant lose it, but i cant gain it either. (that should be a good thing, right?) am i crazy for not wanting to eat? am i crazy for wanting to starve myself just to lose weight? what is wrong with me?! am i just some insecure nothing? it's killing me inside to know after so long. after so many operations, that i'm not really thin. it disgusted me. no destroyed me to hear my grandfather say: (you've got a little fat on you) REALLY?! HOW?! WHY?! IS THAT SO POSSIBLE WHEN SO MANY PEOPLE SAY I SHOULD GAIN WEIGHT?! is it just me? is it all in my head? am i just an insensitive annoying *****?! what is wrong with me? i just want advice... anyone? please? anyone.
silentmisery silentmisery
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 9, 2012

Hey! it sounds like you are just a little insecure, but definatly not a nothing. I hear a lot of girls your age saying the same thing, actually girls of any age, I think all girls strive to be like the pencil thin supermodels on tv and in the magazines but that is not real, when I see them they just look fake to me. women of all sizes are beautiful, let your innerself shine through. If you are beautiful on the inside you will be beautiful on the outside.

thank you! that really made my day!