I Just Wished That Could Design Myself The Way I Want To

image ******* counts. you cannot hide from that fact, if i looked hotter and more handsome, maybe the quality of life will improve for me. its so ******* true, women love tall, muscly, handsome, blue eyed man, and i have none of those features. i wish i could be under the scalpel and on the bed right now because honestly i am not happy with the way i look. i think that girls would like me more if i looked more physically appealing. i always thought when i was little that i will grow up to be this strong man standing on a hill, like as if i am infallible. this imagination did not become become a reality and my body is nothing like what i imagined as a child. instead i am this small, skinny, dark man who looks like a twiggy tree with curly hair and only standing at 5 foot 6. this sucks. women will never appreciate the inner beauty thats in me because people have to ******* judge what they see before getting the know the person very well. i feel like i am deformed even though i am in perfect health and i am good at sports. i just feel as if life would be better if i was born as that college guy who gets the cheerleader who excels in drama, gets straight a's, is the best at american football, is the mvp of ******* everything. or like the james bond type who can charm every single woman in the whole ****** up world. why did god or whoever created me made me who i am. i am not happy with how i look and i feel as if people pass me by. i wish i was white, tall, blue eyed, and handsome. only surgery can help me and i cannot care about nature anymore. we are killing nature anyway with technology, so perhaps maybe technology is on my side. maybe when i step into that medical clinic, i will come out as someone else and i will never be my old self again, i dunno, maybe i am in a bad mood or something, but it seems that the guys get everything like women, cars, and success in general, hell, in my saab i have to push the ******* seat all the way forward so i have a comfortable reach of the ******* pedals, because saab are ******* swedish and scandinavian people are so big. even my watch slips all the way up and down my wrists because they are ******* skinny, i try to put on weight and muscle, but it seems that it doesnt happen, i just get leaner and leaner as if i am gonna be the next bruce lee. i watched the terminator the other day and i wish i could be as cool as arnie. why cant i look like that. nature sucks, god sucks, life sucks, i might aswell get some surgery done but with that money i could buy a house and a better car so i dont know what to do. maybe i should rob a bank and then go ahead with the ******* surgery. sorry, just an angry rant because i have nowhere else to post this. and girls, dont say that height matters, because in the end you go for big tall men, even my own sister went for this huge guy and i dont hang around them because i look small next to him. ******* image society.

jonnyronny jonnyronny
18-21, M
2 Responses Mar 2, 2010

So what if you're only 5'6"? My boyfriend is only 5'7" and I think his hieght is perfect. Luckiley there are many women that are shorter than 5'6 :) <br />
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I have a friend and he is 5'3". He is not good-looking by any means. He gets a ton of girls, very attractive ones at that. So how does he do it? He has confidence! He's not muscular, white, or tall but he still has confidence. <br />
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Why not decide to LOVE you're body? (I'm in the process myself) I know it's easier said than done but why would you want to go through life hating yourself? I wish you the best of luck, I hope one day you will be at ease with your body.

arny is not attractive and many agree, women dont want an iron builder, and be happy to be thin and not like a sumo. you are healthy