I Cant Leave My Boyfriend Because We Have A Daughter

So my boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years, we got pregnant right before our 2 year anniversary. During our relationship i was so completely faithful, the best little girlfriend. I paid for everything, bought him stuff all the time, completely lost my friends and my family hated him. He was very controlling and had me completely isolated. He was physically abusive and extremely verbally abusive. I was trying to leave but when i found out we were having a baby i stayed to try and make it work. As the pregnancy went on the worse he got, he wasnt ready for a baby. I broke up with him and moved out just a few weeks before our daughter was born. When she was born we decided to give it one more try. And in a matter of 1 month he became very very abusive again, and in front of my family, so i ended it. We have been broken up for the last 8 months and i recently had to file a restraniing order against him, because he does drugs and drinks alot, and gets very violent and threatening when he is under the influence ( almost all the time) and he came over to my house to see our daughter and got violent. So when you file for a restraining order and a minor is involved it automatically files for custody as well. I never filed because he never really tried to see her, in 9 months he saw her 5 times, so i never saw it as a neccesity. Well since we've gone to court he has lied prefusly, and got visitations. Im scared for my daughters safety over at his house. Him, his friends, and family are constatly drinking, getting into fights, and doing drugs. So i recently said i would take him back, with the idea in my head that i just want my daughter with me and to be safe, and if im with her father then he doesnt want our daughter, so he recently was assigned to go to rehab as an outpatient. He says he is going to do it. I think this is really good, but i still dont want to be with him. I am only with him so our daughter isnt alone with him. So ultimately im putting aside my happiness with a relationship, so that i know my daughter will be with me all the time and SAFE!! I feel really unhappy with this. because he treats me so bad, and i know there is someone out there who will treat me and my daughter better, but he has me so scared that he will take our daughter and i will never see her again. im like his prisoner. I put on a happy show in front of our daughter so she isnt aware but inside im screaming constantly. I am really unhappy about the situation im in, but feel like i have no other choice, and it doesnt help that my friends and family are upset with me about all of this. :( I just want to cry every time he is around me or touches me. But my daughter is worth it to me. I lover her more than anything else in this world!
caligirl711 caligirl711
18-21, F
2 Responses Aug 11, 2010

There are places where women who experience domestic violence can go to get help. I would suggest that you get one of those little cameras that are small enough to hide. People get little ones for security, so if you can't hide it well enough and it is found you can say you did it so that if anything happens the insurance company has to pay. If you catch him acting up on it, then you can go to the courts with evidence of his craziness. Just make sure that when you get the video you don't confront him with it. Take your daughter and go to the cops so they can take you somewhere safe while they handle it properly this time.

Leave him, figure something out. I know it's easier said than done but if your not happy your daughter isn't happy. She won't be happy till you are. Hang in there :)