Long Story..but I Hate Him.

i met him when i was 15 and he was 20. but he lied to me about his age and told me he was 18. i didnt find out his real age until his birthday that year when he was celebrating at a bar. i only had about 3 boyfriends before him so i was very young, nieve, and unexperianced when i met him. ive now been with him for 9 years. it was fun playing house wife when i was younger, until i realized how much exactly i was doing for him. i began to realize how needy he was, how controlling, and how manipulative he was. before i knew it all my time was devoted to him. he would call me when i was out with friends with reasons for me to come home, until eventually i would just stop going out all together. ive lost alot of friends because of him. he would get so jealous if i would even mention i had a conversation with another guy no matter who it was, and to this day still does. for years i completely avoided the opposite sex, because i didnt even want to deal with the consequenses. he claims hes a sex addict and has from the time i met him been looking at **** sites everyday.

i put up with this for the first 4 years of our relationship. i took care of him like i was his mother. even tho, there were claims that he cheated on me before i had moved in with him, i put it aside. i worked part time, cleaned, cooked, i drove him to work and picked him up, i spent all my money on him, beckoned his call, for what i dont even know, he got addicted to online gaming and completely shut me out. but wouldnt let me go and live my life, i had to sit there and waste my youth, doing nothing while i listened to him clack away on the keyboard. and if i tried to leave him he would cry and beg me not to go. once i slept on the couch after i moved in with him, cuz i stayed up late watching a movie, and when he got up for work he was so distraught that i didnt sleep in bed with him that he cried.

i had the bright idea to have children with him, again being young stupid nieve, thinking that that would build a stronger relationship with this fool. so at 18 i purposely got knocked up. low and behold, it was twins! for the 1st 2 years of their lives he was nothing more than a spem doner. he hardly helped me at all. 2 babies is alot to handle, and he could have had the decentcy to put some effort into helping me, but he did not (if i bring it up today, he tells me he was going thru alot mentally back then).. and at that time i had alot of physical and emotional issues i was going thru, and thanks to him i had nobody. but it was my faut for getting pregnant anyway, right? so i had to deal with it i guess.

when the twins were about to turn 1 he had to go to jail for 5 months, due to some stupid reason. so in those 5 months i was able to experiance life without him. it was the most enjoyment i had in a long time, i reconnected with old friends, i went out, and had alot of fun. so when he got out it started all back the way it was before he was gone. i was strong enough then to put my foot down and tell him how i felt, and after a year we broke up. I was working full time, had tons of friends, had my own car, and all i asked for support was to watch the boys while i worked and that he buy me the costco sized boxes of diapers when i needed them. he couldnt even do that for me. he complained about watching the kids and he only bought me 1 box of diapers in the 6 months we were apart. while we were apart he became an alcoholic, he partied everynight, he became wreckless, to the point where he lost his job, then lost his truck, then lost his apartment. and guess who he went running back to? the person who was playing his mother for the last 5 years. ME.

so he moved back in with me. things were actually going pretty well. and then i got pregnant again. this time it was unexpected and turned me upside down for a while. i had pretty bad post partum depression and was at wits end. he was never there for me like i needed him, just like he never was before. he then began to put alot of pressure on me, i started feeling taken advantage of again. to this day i dont let him get away with nearly as much as i used to, but we have alot of conflics now, we fight constantly because im not going to waste my life catering to him, and it makes him so mad. we would be better off apart, but for now its the easiest for the both of us finantialy. he expects me to have sex with him everyday and when i say no, he screams at me, as if thats going to change my answer. im completely repulsed by him for all the years of the mental and emotional torture he put me thru (i am mad at myself as well for letting all this happen, but i was so young and stupid i didnt know what i was doing to myself until it was too late.) I hate his guts, and i will never forgive him.
made4something made4something
26-30, F
1 Response Aug 3, 2010

wow! u picked a real winner there seetie