Starting To Hate My Boyfriend, Very Un-happy And Un-satisfied...

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. Everything seemed fine when we first started to date but then everything went downhill. He finally showed me the kind of person he really is. When we first started talking, he was a totally different person, seemed very romantic. But after the first month it all dissapeared! I live with him currently but I think i hate him now. He is NEVER romantic, never wants to make love with me or anything. he always yells at me and curses and calls me names. He is very selfish in bed even though I have tried to communicate with him about our sex life and to let him know what I want but he still doesn't want to help me out. Sex with him is now just a chore for me and I do not enjoy it at all. Sex is simply boring! I always tell him the romantic things I want and I always try to get him to be more romantic but he just makes fun of everything and has a perversive humor. He is simply annoying to me now and I don't even get turned on by him anymore. I am really starting to hate him! I don't know what to do...I have realized that I can't change a person and make them something that they obviously are not. I am so un-happy but I love him and I don't want to leave.
diannerachelm diannerachelm
7 Responses Aug 22, 2010

As this is from 5 years ago I hope you left a long time ago.
Im in a similar situation and it's been going on for way too long. I am sad and depressed. And I get snappy and cranky when im around him. I'm done, I have to be a grown up and pull the pin

I'm in the same boat smh

Just moved in with my boyfriend 4 months ago. It is going to come down to him choosing the PS3 or me. I can't do it anymore. He acts like I am his mother. Yesterday I walked in the door and he didn't even say hello. He continued to play his PS and 20 minutes later asked me what was for dinner. Are you freaking kidding me? What did you do?

OMG! Leave him. You are not married. Place enough value in yourself that you know you don't deserve this. He doesn't own you. The worst thing if you leave is that you will be single. Wow! Have fun while you're meeting other people. Don' settle for that kind of treatment. Love yourself girl!! There are a lot of good guys out there.

What's with guys these days? They're all selfish, immature jerks. They don't want responsibility, they don't want to compromise, and they feel like everybody owes them something. I hope I do a better job in raising my two sons.

Just want to let u know that u can change : it takes strength and respecting yourself! You have to realize that 1 you are able to do what makes sense for yourself (and your children) even before u feel like it .... I know from experience how hard this is but do this: remember only the bad things about the person -( your mind will remind you of the one good thing they did ten years ago and because u love the jerk your heart will only remember that one good thing and u won't want to leave-) but is that kindness representative of who the person really is? No. 2. Focus on yourself and emotionally begin to detach and act Like u don't care about the jerk anymore. Do your own thing , do not sleep with him, do something that makes u feel good about u... When u are ready to leave , do not bargain , do not threaten , do not give i'n no matter how sweet he lies all of a sudden - just take your stuff and go. I promise it's a constant mind over matter battle and u can win with constant fighting !

i know how you feel. ive been with same guy on an off for 7yrs. have 3kids 2gether. he has no time for me or the kids, all he does is sleep and play on his stupid xbox. only time he knows me is when he wants some sexual action, and like you i do not enjoy it. he makes me feel so unappreciated and uncared for. he doesnt work (hes lazy), im the one who always is up with kids, gettng everything else done, only reason im still here is im 1000 miles away from where i was born an raised, where all my friends an family are at. but believe me i am finding a way to get me an my kids away from his sorry, lazy poor excuse of a boy, hes no father figure to is children! i know its hard but ur better off finding someone that will treat u right an wont laugh at u wanting to be romantic, im fighting to be happy myself, i know u can do it!