Its Complicated!

I hate him i love him i hate him i love him!!
reasons why i love him
1. He sometimes treats me like a baby-or his daughter (something im into)
2. He looks after me- He is responsible for me and i depend on him. Alot. 
3. Any chance he gets he spoils me rotten
4. He rocks me to sleep...he sings me to sleep... he reads stories to me
5. I could put my life in his hands
6. He tries to a small extent to cheer me up

Reasons why i hate him
1. He can be abusive--If hes angry it goes overboard that i end up with marks on me (Yes but i pushed him) 
2. He got me pregnant..we didnt use a condom...i didnt want to actually do that without a condom on and i kept shouting and telling him, his reply "Dont panic it will be fine" (but i now want my baby back inside me)
3. I dont have many choices in the relationship (I was fine with that really, i dont want many choices)
4. I cant go out with a friend thats a boy or have a phonecall with a friend thats a boy literally because, they are a boy -.- (So! Im telling myself to ******* get over it its understandable you didnt like it when he was on the phone to girls so shut the **** up) 
5. He doesnt try enough to cheer me up..or get my mind of things most times he makes it worse (This one was kind of true but i dont care) 
6. Hes too possesive. (Now i want possesiveness) 
7. Whens hes with friends he doesnt actually text me hardly at all, when im with friends he gets annoyed if i dont text him..whats with that? (Again, get the **** over it) 

Im confused...whether or not i should leave...every time i think about it...he always says things like "My mum loves you, your the closest thing she has to a daughter you break this relationship you break her" or "You said we would be together forever i cant believe your doing this to me Jessica"
Ect!!! And i cant imagein him with another girl it puts me in tears...but right now he is with a few girls that are his ex gfs...and a few of his guy mates...i dont know what to do... anymore

Hey guys so ^^ this was a while ago, after i had an abortion and was very weak and ill. He broke up with me to be with some other girl. So im very upset and regret everything horrible about him that i said. 
GirlTeenTodd GirlTeenTodd
18-21, F
2 Responses Apr 29, 2011

break up with him

Omg this relationship is toxic.. You have to leave him be strong.!! The reasons u love him are far less then the reasons you don't. Your setting yourself up for a disaster. I do understand you like to be taken care of that is nice but there's a line and he crossed it by the sounds of it a long time ago. If my bf was hanging out with his ex girlfriends I would go crazy. Just a question, what's your relationship like with your father..? Trust me there are plenty of gorgeous gentlemen out there willing to treat you like the queen you are. Just build up that self esteem and love yourself.. ;-)