I Hate My Boyfriend, But Won't Leave..
Wow, where to begin.. I met my current boyfriend when I was 11... love at first sight... but he was 15, so when he moved, we went seperate ways. 12 years later, 3 days before I'm moving from TX to CA, he emails me on Facebook. Immediately, I drop ALL my plans and start a relationship with him. This was 18 months ago. I have a 3 yr old son who lives with us and my boyfriend is SO mean to him. He literally acts like he's allergic to him; won't touch his dirty clothes with a ten ft pole, won't hug him, etc. My son is my life & his dad isn't in the picture at all. My bf (we'll call him Jeremy) is SO selfish with most things, but not with others. I don't understand. He's vindictive, mean, rude, proud, loud, and extremely uncaring. If my stomach is hurting, instead of love, I get, "oh, mine is, too, real bad". Same with headaches, toothaches, etc. I cook, clean, take care of both of them, and work part time. He won't do anything to help me go to school (I think he's scared of me being better than him cause he didn't even finish high school - got a GED). He thinks he's smarter than anyone on Earth, no joke! He's always trying to figure out ways to prove he's better, smarter, cleaner, etc, than me... really? ALL I do is clean! And he's always trying to find reasons to yell and cuss at my son and degrade him right in front of me. He CONSTANTLY goes through my phone, email, facebook, etc when I'm taking a shower, he NEVER let's me see my sister or my best friend. I go to work and come straight home (he works, too, and does the same). No IFs, ANDs, or BUTs about it. If I even GLANCE at another male that, to others, may be decently attractive, he FREAKS out. If I'm on the phone with him while I'm at work & he hears another voice, it's automatically, "who the hell is that? What is he saying? Why is he talking to you?".. he keeps our house FREEZING where my son and I have to wear warm-ups & jackets to be comfortable, I can't watch ANYthing I want to on tv when he's here, my son is never allowed out of his room when he's here unless it's to use the restroom & he still gets ridiculed for that... I'm SO tired of fighting! How in the hell do I still love this jerk?!? But when we're happy, a day or 2 out of the month, it's magical... UGH!!