I Want My Life To Be Different, Better On My Own!

Hey, All I can say is I want to break up with my boyfriend named Miguel. I am older than him by 9 years and want a guy my own age. Age does not always matter but maturity does. I see myself growing in different directions as I am against marijuana, cursing, and someone who is disrespectful. I broke up with him right now and wish he would just stay gone. Everyday, I am falling more and more out of love with him and it's to the point that I hate him. He used to look so handsome to me but now I find him unattractive, and wish he would just disappear. I feel like I want to quit my job, move from this house, and start a new life in a different city. He says he loves me but love feels GOOD, HAPPY, SAFE, TRUSTS, RESPECTS, LISTENS and not like this slow hatred boiling inside my chest.
I don't want to make up anymore. He just won't leave with out threatening me and I'm just going to have to TRUST myself in this process to end things or at least take a break because I feel Sooo SICK EMOTIONALLY!
I'm strong, beautiful, and always knew I deserved better. I'm going to choose a happy and healthy relationship with myself for now. God help me and wish me luck because I'm letting go of my drama, pain, and misery...
Birdygirl8 Birdygirl8
1 Response May 29, 2012

Hey birdygirl8, i admire you for your strength. Sometimes i feel like i don't even know what love actually means anymore. But it sounds like you have taken some really good steps towards healing, and especially differences of values can be such a huge strain. <br />
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you ARE strong and beautiful! you will find something better in yourself I'm sure :)<br />
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All the best to you