Fell In Love With Someone Who Doesn't Love Himself.

When I first met him, he was so much fun to be around. We'd drink and sleep all day and be up all night, out in New York City. But he is also 14 years older than I am. At the time I didn't realize that maybe he was a bit immature. I mean, he worked at a hotel making crap for money and lived with a roommate.

When we decided to move to Florida together after only a few months being together, I thought for sure it was the best decision of my life. Upon getting there, we stayed with his mother and that's when the problems really started happening. In his natural environment, he reverted back to being a complete child around his family and not stepping up to the responsibilities he owed to me now that we took the next step in our relationship.

After we found the house we wanted to live in, everything went way downhill from there. He became increasingly violent towards me, verbally and physically. Sometimes he'd go days without talking to me, and I took it because I wanted it to work soooo incredibly badly. My mother always taught me that if it's broken then you fixed it, and I had every intention of working through all the kinks. But with the violence and the abuse I stepped out of the situation for awhile and went back to NYC. Upon my arrival to Florida after the "break" NOTHING changed. I've been berated, humiliated, and hurt. Beaten down. I wrote this in past tense, but unfortunately, I am still in the same situation. I would do anything to make it work because I love him.

He is 34 now and has given up on life. He works a crap job to pay the bills and drinks entirely too much. His self loathing is destroying me and it is destroying our relationship. He thinks that money will solve our problems and I know they won't.

I am totally in denial about my relationship. Have you ever just been so in love that you take the pain because you want it all to work out? Fairy tale relationship? I don't know how to say goodbye to the man I love. I love him and I ******* hate him at the same time.
SydneyAheem SydneyAheem
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 11, 2013

I'm pretty much going through the same thing, I'm with a borderline sociopath thanks to his pos parents. He verbally abuses me and is emotionally distant, then only time he's nice is when he wants something. Yet I keep thinking I can fix him, and I'm scared to death of leaving him. It sucks.

How can you change him?
Fact you canonly change your own behavior
You need to man up and take charge
Balance the checkbook get Dave Ramsey and run the show!
Put him in panties and keep him wearing them until you totally dominate his life!

LOL. Strangely, this was exactly what I needed to hear.