He's a Loser and I Hang Around

So here’s the deal. I’m 18 years old (just turned 18 mind you) and I have a 2-month old little girl with a guy that I’ve been with since we were 13. Too young to have a child? Absolutely, and I know that, but one thing led to another and we wound up pregnant and I was and am not willing to give her up. Anyways, we’ve always had some rough patches. Between the fact that I can count on one hand how many dates he’s taken me on in the past 5 years (a few of which were my birthday present), that he’s a natural flirt and strives to get other girl’s attention constantly, that during one of our ‘breaks’ he screwed another girl whom is my worst enemy - twice- and lied to me about it forcing me to hear the truth from her just after he was texting me and telling me how much he loved me and wanted to be back together, constantly getting upset when I don’t put out (I force myself to even touch the guy half the time), wanting to have sex in my parents basement with our daughter sitting in front of us 2 weeks after I had given birth and leaving because I wouldn’t, never staying the night to help me take care of her - even when I have to go to work at 6 in the morning, never had an actual job, getting pissed at me because the state is forcing him to pay child support because we are not married (God forbid the guy actually try to support his daughter), asking me to get married because he wants to get out of paying child support (naturally I said not a chance in hell), and the list goes on.

I have given up my entire life for this little girl, and I don’t mind for the idea that it is for her, but he just resumes life as usual. I am still a high school senior but I graduated at mid-term so I could stay home as much as possible so this little girl would have parents to raise her. Before, I had everything going for me. I was the volleyball captain, homecoming candidate, national honor society member, in the top ten percent of my class, and Senior Class President. Now, the most I talk to people is in an online discussion board for college classes and the only places I have been outside of the house have been church, work, and doctors appointments. He remains in school, remains in sports, and remains jobless. Oh, and even better, the only reason he is going to college is because he wants to play college football, and the only place he has had a small scholarship to is 6 hours away so he thinks he’ll just walk-on at a closer campus. What is the point of even playing when you have a family and it’s going to do nothing for you financially?!

And the most recent thing that I love so much about my fantastic boyfriend… He asked another girl to the prom. After discussing with him for months whether we should go or not (I want to but he always said it was a waste of money so I agreed) I found on his cell phone texts that he asked the other girl’s boyfriend if he would mind if he took her. After getting defensive for me reading his texts, he said that he was just joking around. I am so unhappy with him and I notice that when I haven’t seen or talked to him for a few days, I feel so much better about myself as a person. Yet, I remain with the jerk and I’m not sure why yet. Granted no man in their right mind wants to date an 18 year old girl with a 2 month old daughter, so maybe it’s just the convenience that he sticks around. I am a strong person and I know when to call it quits, but for some unexplainable reason, this is the one thing I’ve held on to, even if I am tied behind the wagon and being drug on the ground.

Courtney09 Courtney09
18-21
1 Response Feb 23, 2009

So how are you now? I know it has been a couple of years since you wrote this, but I am hoping that you would answer my questions. Did everything got better? Or worst? Did you stay together and it turned out okay after all? The reason that I'm asking is I want to find out if people can change. I'm in a relationship where I have ambitions and goals, and actually is getting there, but him, he's in a loser stage. I love him but right now he is content with his life (no education, no savings, etc). We've been together for almost 8 yrs and we have a daughter. Like you, I also hang around, too. I just don't know where my limit is, but I really wanna have a better future with him. But I can't help him.