My Boyfriend Likes Men With Breasts.

So, my boyfriend has this thing for guys with boobs... I know, random and strange.  He checks out women too, I mean, he is very attracted to women.  But, he gets all hot and bothered at the thought of dudes with breasts.  He gets all hot and bothered at the thought of having his own breasts, wearing women's clothing, makeup.  I know men that dress in women's clothing and feel comfortable, but my BF actually gets really really horny at even the thought doing it himself which as far as I know, transvestites just like wearing women's clothing, not really turned on by it.  Maybe I'm ignorant.  

Needless to say, I'm a little taken aback.  I'm a pretty open minded person.  But having sex with a guy who is wearing women's clothing?  We've done it a couple times and it was kinda funny... but not something I want to do a whole lot... or ever again really.  It was kinda weird.  If we never do it again, I won't miss it.

And its gotten to the point where he talks about it alot.  And then he told me one night that he thinks about men with breasts and transsexuals when we're having sex... I was totally devastated, I started crying, I told him that it wasn't cool by far.  Really over the line.  He told me it was sometimes the only way he can get off.

I feel really violated that someone I love and who supposedly loves me would take the act of intimacy and sex and block me out and basically be having sex with someone else in his head.  I told him if I don't turn him on, if I'm not attractive to him, why would he even touch me?  If I'm not enough, then leave.  If you aren't attracted to someone, why even date them?

Last night, he came over.  We screwed around a little, it didn't really go anywhere.  Then we're just kinda laying around in bed, I pick up my lap top and put it on my lap and ask him about some Avon stuff on-line I wanted to buy; I wanted his opinion on colors.  Then we start just surfing the web.  Then he takes the computer and starts showing me all these pictures and sites with guys with breasts and breast enhancement products and other products for cross dressers.

He said opening up like this helps him feel closer to me.  It just makes me feel devalued.  Here I am trying to get his opinion on if a color matches my skin tone and he takes the computer and starts showing me guys with boobs... while we're laying in bed together... how self centered.  OK, if he doesn't wanna help his girlfriend pick out makeup, that's fine.  If he wants to be a woman or be with a transsexual man to woman, that's fine.  But don't sit in bed with me expressing what turns you on when it isn't your girlfriend.  I've told him that if he isn't attracted to me and is attracted to some other, to just effing go with it.  He insists that he loves me.  And the weird thing is, I think he does.  But then there is this other side.  I've checked out women before, I've even dated a couple, but I don't think of hot women while I'm making love with him, I'm too busy being with him.  

He thinks about someone or something else while we're having sex.  It makes the idea of sex with him repulsive.  I don't even like kissing him anymore.  And I love the guy.  Its so weird.

FlyingNinjas FlyingNinjas
26-30, F
12 Responses Jul 9, 2009

I Think your boy friend wants to be a tranny. Sit down and have a talk with him.

I dream of being a Shemale Prostitute with big breast and huge **** serving hot man and woman, am I abnormal? what should I do? does anyone with similar thoughts and experiences?

Yea, that is pretty abnormal. Also, it is rather rude that you flaunt the fact that you are an embodiment of the problem these women are facing with their significant others.

I to have found myself in the same situation.:(...Though e told me it is only trannys in latex, I googled his U tube nic only to find he leaves messages telling them how georgeous they are. When we first started going out thingswere wasnt the best but i put that down to his lack of experience. Then he stopped kissing me, never really touches my breasts, NEVER kisses them...once in a year, we never have oral sex, 3 times in last year.<br />
I discovered trannies on his laptop about 6 mths ago, he has lied to me over and over about all of this...and as soon as i have the money, Im out of here. I feel so devalued as a woman. Im slim and attractive...and definatly not lacking in admirers. I gave him a chance, trusting that he was being honest when he said it was only the latex...but now i know he is joining more tranny dating sites I can never trust him again. Im sure im just the 'cover' he needs for family and friends. Yep we still have an active sex life...but now i wont let him touch me if i know hes been on the computer looking at shemales. <br />
If they are looking there is no doubt they will eventually follow through on the fantasies. GET OUT NOW WHILST YOU CAN...NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE!!!

The problem as I see it for "straight" women involved with men who are either transvestites, or trans gender/transsexual is dealing with different belief systems and expectations. I imagine (don't know I am only one person and male at that) that most women want a man for a husband or mate who will fulfill her belief system (provider, father, house, children, mortgage, health insurance, vacations, cars, clothes, manicures, makeup and in general materialism) While transvestites can be fairly easy to deal with (no expressed desire to become feminine or female outside of the clothing issue) Trans gender or Transsexual m-t-f men are wildly unpredictable and unreliable (in general) in fulfilling a wife's wants and needs. <br />
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For the girlfriend or wife its not about love or what the male wants or needs its about what she wants and needs. She knows that having a boyfriend or husband who wants to become female not only takes away from her materialism but it actually is a competing materialism as the m-t-f process is highly materialistic. How can the wife afford weakly trips to the beauty salon, manicures, makeup, shoes, shopping etc, when the boyfriend/husband is struggling to afford it for him/herself?<br />
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I believe a female and a m-t-f transsexual can have a true meaningful and loving relationship if the female (1) is self sufficient (2) the transsexual is self sufficient and (3) the female's belief system doesn't get in the way (social, political, financial and religious expectations)<br />
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As a trans gender male I can tell you the only women I have had good relationships with were women who did not have religious bias, or preconceived notions of wanting a hunter gatherer/provider for a mate, and were self sufficient and didn't depend on me for providing things like credit cards for shopping, health insurance, cars, etc...<br />
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There are two types of women in America those who are in control of their lives and those who are not in control their lives. Women in the first group are much better suited for a relationship with a trans gender or transsexual m-t-f person than women in the latter group, from my perspective. It goes without saying that regardless of circumstances 2 people, neither of which are in control of their own lives have a snowball's chance in Yuma of having a successful relationship.<br />
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For young women in this situation, any male who tells you he has desires to grow breasts or is infatuated with transsexuals or chicks with dicks, DO NOT make the mistake of thinking they will grow out of it. They are just getting warmed up, They are not experimenting, they are experiencing something that will be with them their entire life it is called gender dysphoria. It is not what they have, it is who they are. You cannot love them enough, you cannot get angry enough and you cannot cry enough to change the fact, down to the very core of his body. mind, soul, spirit, he wants to be a she. He wants to be that which he is infatuated with a Chick with a ****.<br />
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I have known many transsexual m-t-f (pre-op) "women" who don't have plans to have teh complete sexual reassignment Surgery (SRS) performed and most of them will tell you the same thing. Once the SRS is completed they are just another women (with some covert baggage) But as a Chick with a **** (the fortunate ones blessed with beauty) they are almost worshipped as goddesses.

Hello dear heart....I'am a strong good looking male with beautiful breast...I love my wife to death..I like womens underwear also...My wife also loves me to death and is bi-sexual...I think I started growing my breast is because my wife is bi and want to be a greater desire to her and she said she liked them to.....But as my breast grew I started feeling more and more feminine...I'am starting to have thoughts of tv's and chicks with di....ks...But I think my wife likes that...I'am so confused...I'am probably a B cup and I guess they are not gonna go away...I still have plenty of sex with my wife and it;s good...I sometimes invision a big co..k in my mouth during the act...Am I ok...

You sound just like me. My wife is the same as yours. When I first mentioned growing boobs she was all for it, and supported me 100%. She has admitted to me about being Bi, and I told her I was also. My boobs are now a great joy to both of us, and we are only sorry that I didn't grow them sooner. Now I am a male that wears a bra and panties all the time. And yes, the estrogen has changed my mind, and I do love to feel a **** in my mouth and to swallow ***. I have recommended to many other males about this, and I know 4 guys who have started estrogen. Enjoy your boobs. There are many guys, and gals that would love to have what you now have.

I've read all your comments above and I feel for all of you,as I am in a similar situation; however I have been married to my husband for 18 years and I have two teenage children. I found out that my husband is a cross-dresser about 7 years ago when I was tidying up for party at our house. I found underwear that was too big for me and at first I thought he was having an affair, but he told me they were his! I had to put it in the back of my mind as we had lots of people arriving within the hour. Anyway we spoke about it the next day and he said it would never happen again<br />
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There have been so many incidents since, that I can't really remember everything. I have come home early from work and found that my key won't open the door, before the yale lock is on and then my husband has come to the door out of breath and said he was in the roof, but I can still see make-up around his eyes, which he's tried to wash off. I have found batteries on the bed and a camera. I've also had my sons come to me and say that the computer that their dad had given them has pictures of rude women on it and upon closer inspection I've found that they are photos of transvestites but luckily the kids did not notice. I phoned my husband, who was a work, as I was so angry and he was mortified and again promised to never do it again. <br />
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A while ago I found loads of "slutty" clothes, such as high heeled boots, and even a big *****. Afterwards he claimed that he has taken them to the dump and that he's stopped. <br />
<br /> cut a long story short, I have recently now discovered that he has been visiting websites for transvestities and he's uploaded photos of himself dressed as a woman. I've read emails between him and other trannies, where the other guy(woman?) calls him "hun" and "you rushed off the other night...." etc. He's been waking up early at the weekends before anyone else is awake and going into the garage to email these men (transvestites). He always claims that he is not gay and that he would never meet anyone. He has now AGAIN claimed that he's stopped, as I told him he had to leave, so now we are trying again. <br />
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I feel like a complete mug, as I know that I will discover something again in the future and this kills me inside, because I love him so much. I have read lots of sites online, where people say that we should just accept that this is their "thing"; however I'm in a SEXLESS marriage. He's never interested in sleeping with me, (please don't take this the wrong way, I'm an attractive slim female with admirers). It kilss me to know that he would rather sneak out of bed early at the weekend and chat to men dressed as women, than sleep with his own wife!! I also hate the fact that if I divorce him, everyone will think bad of me, as I will NEVER tell anyone the real reason why we split up, so as to protect our children from ridicule and embarrassment. <br />
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I know that this is the 20th century and I have nothing against gay people or transvestites, but I do feel like a "cover" for my husband. He has been a cross-dresser since before our marriage but he always kept it a lie, until I discovered it. He now says that he wants us to stay together and he has blamed the whole thing on an erection problem. He's been to the doctor and has been given tablets. I expected him to come home and try them, but unfortunately it's been 2 weeks since he picked up the tablets and he's not come near me. I think this is again just another excuse. <br />
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I have spent a lot of time feeling sorry for my husband as I want to accept him for who he is, but I do feel betrayed and cheated, and lied to. Often we tend to think about the rights of the transvestite, but what about the rights of the wife who has been lied to? Do I have to be condemned to a SEXLESS life so that my husband can fulfill his fantasy? <br />
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My advice would be, if you're not married, and you don't have kids.....move on. If you're a cross-dresser/transvestite tell the person you are with before you have kids and get married - it;s only fair!! .... Good luck to everyone, both male and female in this situation.

My boyfriend is a crossdresser. He told me probably a year after we met. Weve now been together for 5 years. I love him so much, I couldnt live without him. He used to look at normal **** all the time, but now he only looks at chicks with dicks. He does cocaine, and whenever he gets some i have to leave the room as he likes to smoke it and i cant stand the smell. So he goes online and wanks off to chicks with dicks. He hasnt dressed for ages as weve been livin with parents. But im not worried about him dressing. Its what his sexuality is. Because he has txted TS/TG/TV/Trannys/Crossdressers and i read this one text where he wrote i wanna suck your ****. Wot is that about. I asked him and he said he was doing it for a laugh. I also found out yesturday that he signed up for He has put this on his profile:<br />
I'am a cross dresser looking for discreet and loves dressing in kinky gear.up for anything you want can drive but cant accomedate <br />
What is that about. Does he wanna shag a tranny. Is he gonna cheat on me. He came home late the other night and you can imagine what goes through my head. As he has the car so he could drive up to any ones house or anywhere and **** em or whatever. Also he was ment to go round his brothers once, but i called his brother and he wasnt there, he was gone for 3 hours. Apparently he went and got some coke, and done it by himself in the car. Also when he comes in well late he has to have a shower. Can anyone please help me. I dont wanna loose him, but then i dont wanna be walked all over. He gets angry at me when i say about all this stuff and he tells me to keep my nose out. And he tries to end it with me. When hes in the wrong. Do you think he wants to have an affair or do you think he already has. I want someone to be my secret spy. Does anyone live near Dover, Kent?

My guy is into the same thing. You are right with your observation, it will never stop. Its a psychological problem. In fact, if he is that open-minded most likely it is gonna get worse. My hubby keeps it secret. No secret to me though ;) I think I will end up leaving him, but I have an idea how to influence it. Just have to try it out first...

Thanks, monster. I did talk to him, I ended up crying. I told him that I was trying to be open minded, but honestly, I am just not into it. I just don't find it attractive. He said I didn't have to and it really wasn't that big of a deal. He said it was kind of wearing off, that he was growing out of it... I don't believe people grow out of their sexuality, that just sounds silly to me.

well first of all i have never heard of such things but all things are poss. im stunned. sweetie i really am. if it was me. i would see how deep he really is in to it. then maybe if you truely love him let him go. but if he trulely loves you. then you and him must sit and talk. and find out what is going on what he truly wants and if its you then you need to tell him that it bothers you that he faunts his stuff and it hurts ur feelings. seriously, sit down and speak him, and he has to be honest with you but most of all to himself. beeter now then later. good luck with this sweetie and sending much love.

I found out a year after I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, who for the record claims to be in love with me still, that we secretly dress up like a woman. He says that the idea of sleeping with another man is repulsive but he gets turned on by dressing as a woman. And he has a thing for transvestites. We broke up because he didn't want to have sex with me anymore, we could spend easily 6 months sleeping together with no sex. he didn't tell me back then what was the reason, he even let me think that it was cause I put on few pounds. Now I realize why. He had a different sex drive. I feel so devaluated, I know what you feel. I even became body obsessed and done a lot of damage to my self, nothing worse than been rejected by the man you love.

My boyfriend likes chicks with dicks, so I know how you feel.