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I Hate My Boyfriend ...i Really Do.

I have had a boyfriend now for a year. when we started out everything was good he took me everywhere and gave me everything. He even sent me dozens of roses to my home and job and took me on trips. I decided to move from my home town to his thus, leaving my job behind to seek employment there and a "wonderful life" ahead. I have never been in love before so it seemed so right...how could it not be? I was always use to nice things, very nice things, I made enough money to support my lifestyle on my own and held a very good position at my former company. I am now here and things have come to a halt. I knew he didn't have as much as past romances that i had had but now I realize that he fooled me. He has some of the nice things but kinda by default...he won a lawsuit. The money is now diminishing or was never there to begin with when I arrived. I feel like he was catering to me to impress me and catch me. Now the problem comes in. I can't find a job so he now has me in a financial bind and kinda stuck. He loves it. I hate it. I am very head strong and I let love control me for the first time. Please don't get me wrong the lack of money would be okay if he remained nice to me. He becomes very angry with me at times yelling, telling me to leave because he knows he isn't doing enough. He throws my ex in my face constantly tells me when I go home to visit I am going to see him and have sex with him, I really want him...he is more than financially stable(he is another story will talk about him later). My current boyfriend feels inferior to him and all others I have dealt with. He tells me that he knows I will leave once I am on my feet, he says that I am using him. He will get so angry at me that I just cry I hate what has become of my life now. i have told him that i was gonna tell my family that if anything were to happen to me they should look at him. I have to tell him that I will call the police if he hits me ever! I feel that he only doesn't because he knows I will call them and follow through and I will fight back. He hates that I am educated and if say jokingly at something funny like your so stupid that's so dumb as a joke he gets angry. He will yell at the top of his lungs he will tell me that I need to shut up and listen to him talk then I can talk. since i am not working I am not his secretary. I do everything. Rarely with a thank you unless he is in a good mood...which usually means he wants sex. When I don't want to he starts in with" wow I have a girl and can't even get sex from her...nice" however when I want it he is too busy too much to do etc. We never go anywhere anymore I mean nowhere. I even suggest cheap, next to nothing or free. Still too busy or just can't. Many times I think he is trying to break me maybe drain me of life. He will give me small sums of money that I will usually blow through because it's so far between that I have to buy necessities like female stuff or food. Then he will say what happened to the money you should go out and do stuff on your own. There is so much more but right now I feel so bad I wanna cry so I gotta go. Oh PS...I hate the sex :-/

scarlettheart scarlettheart 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 22, 2009

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I think your story is a common one these days. When love is a whirlwind, it's hard to see who the other person really is. I would think that anytime someone is "pouring things on you - material things", the be cautious because it's often "the things" that have impressed you rather than the relationship that will or won't keep you together. Everyone loves nice gifts and frequent nice gifts makes you feel even better.<br />
I've talked to others that have pulled up their roots for someone they are "madly in love with". I have not seen one work yet.<br />
I don't really have any useful advice on how to get out of the situation you are in. However, I think you are 100% on target that if he ever hits or commits any violence against you, call the police. Continue to get out of there as soon as you can.<br />
As for the future, you will not being some new and different scars than what you had before. Don't give up on love. However, before making any commitment or pulling up your roots, wait until the whirlwind is over. During the whirlwind, you don't see what life will be like. That whirlwind romance will die 99.9% of the time and what you will be left with had better be worth pulling up roots for.<br />
Best of luck to you...and don't give up on love, just him!