I Hate Him

i been with my bloke 3 years now will be 4 in november if it gets that far i got to kids with him which makes it harder to back out, i started hating him when i got pregnant with my first child he became lazy and didnt want to help with anything we lived with his mother too which was crushed so i put how i felt down to having no breathing space from each other, but it continued and got worse especially once i had given birth to my baby girl i didnt want him near me or touching me i tried to find little things to make him break up with me, then there was an up side we managed to get a flat so i thought we could continue being together as we would have the space we were ok for a couple of months but didnt last long i started doing everything by  myself going to work doing the laundry cooking taking care of our daughter while he played his games he never helped with anything and that hasnt changed even now, well i then fell pregnant with our son and the hate got worse i couldnt bear being in the same room couldnt breath, he started going away to london evry week for a few days when i was heavily pregnant as horrible as it is to say i enjoyed it everytime he went i was happy then he would come back and i got depressed i had my son shortly after the trips to london started he was around for the birth, then my hormones started nigglin again making me want to leave him just take the kids and go after all it feels sometimes like it would be no loss he still doesnt help with anything now and i look forward to when he leaves everytime, i do love him but im not sure its the same as when we meet he is a stranger now everything i knew about him has changed i dont no wot he likes dislikes any more but i find myself not caring i did want to make it work but im not sure anymore but i dont want my kids to not have their dad around i grew up without my dad he only started speaking to me properly when i was 18 but coz he wasnt around we didnt have a proper father daughter relationship i dont want that to happen to my kids 

if anyone has any advice please help me in making a decision 

snakey88 snakey88
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 24, 2010

Yes indeed.<br />
Go away and stop moaning about something you could have avoided but that is the past.<br />
<br />
Now is the change to stop getting pregnant again and make your own life to happen. Packup your kids and go to one of the many help organisations.<br />
<br />
Good luck luv

walk away and start a new life while you are still able to...YES it is that simple...the only thing stopping you is YOU..