Why Is He Like That?! [vent]

ugh; my so called 'boyfriend' is so stupid. He says he 'loves' me and yet he says he doesn't care if i'm with him or not. 

I met him when i was 16 and I'm 19 now so you do the math. We've been going out since high school and i was his 'first' everything; first girlfriend first kiss first whatever you want to think about. but thats not the point. I messed up in the beginning and i was still 'talking' to my ex. JUST TALKING!!. so he started getting all mad and the 3rd time he got mad he broke up with me and started going out with this other girl! he BROKE UP WITH ME and went out with her the NEXT DAY [WHILE I WAS PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!] 

so here i am crying my eyes out [oh this was still in school] and he leaves me and goes straight to her. we graduate. they only went out for like a 'week' so he says. then he comes back to me. and BOOM baby dies, i miscarried. so.. life goes on. were all sad of course depressed. then i get pregnant again! and siiince he has nothing going on for his life he joins the marines. and how does he get there? with my help of course, because you see he dropped out of high school and so he went to adult high school to get another kind of diploma where IIIIII did all his work. and leaves for bootcamp. 

fastforward to NOW. sooo he's stationed somewhere i gave birth to our son. and were separated of course; and what does he tell me? He had sex with that girl when he went out with her and they didn't only go out for a week they went out for a month! so he cheats on me.. thats considered cheating right?!?! telling me he left her comes back to me and has sex with her! when he said he broke up with her![ dont forget this was the time i had my miscarrige] ughhh. 

Then. We fight like EVERYDAY. we BRAKE UP EVERYDAY. and all he says to me is 'leave me leave me. i dont care if your with me or not; yeah i love you but i dont care.. im not going to change for you i wont change for anybody'

what the hell is his problem?!!!?? i even checked his phone bill and he CALLED THAT GIRL[while he's far away--thats longdistance calling! ughhh]!!!! see! doesn't that mean he still have feelings for her! he even said it himself that he talked to her and told her he still loves her "just to see what she would say" pshh whatever. 

ugh. idk what to do.. i love him but god it huuuuurts so much dealing with all the crap he puts me through. 

but it hurts even more being withOUT him... =[ 

so confusing.. 

18-21, F
1 Response Mar 1, 2010

I am having the same issues with my bf. I want to leave but love him and cant