I Hate My Sister In Law And Thats Why I Hate Family Functions! Grrrrr!

So here goes my story... Long one so I hope u can hold onto it. I am together with my boyfriend for 3.5 years now, although I've known him for 4.5 years and we live together for 2 years. We are from different countries, with different languages. So we speak English and the brother/girlfriend speak English too, although she claims of course that she doesn't know English. (Funny thing as she does know how to play games in English or put CV's on the internet in English) When I met him he was living already with his brother and the girlfriend. The girlfriend and the brother are together for about 6 or 7 years now. The ages that we're talking about here are; boyfriend 29, me 25, the brother 27 and the girlfriend 28. So the girlfriend is a very dominant person, she doesn't has much female friends. (I can understand why after all these years lol) She is not only dominant to her own boyfriend but also to all other men around her. When my boyfriend was living with them she would do all kind of things that are just inappropriate in my point of view. So in the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend and I only talked through skype/msn and that kind of online communication. He told me that his brother and the girlfriend bought a new apartment and that he's going to help them renovate it. I was fine with that and I thought it was sweet of him to help them. But here comes the first problem and the first red flags are waving at me. She did not include her boyfriend into anything of this whole process, she decided to buy the apartment, without him even seeing it or whatsoever. So then after a while she decided it was time to buy a new bed. No she did not go with her boyfriend to the shop, no she said to my boyfriend to come and look for a bed. How SICK is that? Their first new bed together as a couple and they don't even buy it together wtf? So I told my boyfriend this is a little awkward. He says his brother couldn't come with her cause he was at work. What a lame excuse in my opinion. When I tried to discuss this with my boyfriend he would say that I'm just overreacting and seeing things too serious. But in my opinion she did not thought about me, I think girls would know that a "new girl" could feel threatened by such things. I was far away in another country and she already sees him everyday and now even goes shopping with him for a bed?!! I would see the salesman already asking oh and how long are u together, first bed, bla bla. Of course this is slightly overreacting but I think some of you could relate to my feelings about this. One of the reasons why this made me upset was cause the brother was working nightshifts, my boyfriend would then sleep alone with her in the apartment. They've slept together in one bedroom few times but as soon as I found that out, my boyfriend decided to not do that anymore and started to sleep at friend's places when his brother would have nightshifts. Well in meantime lots of little things occurred, not really worth to mention here since its getting long already. The main thing is that I've tried many things to become a little more close to her so I could forget about the jealousy thing with my boyfriend and her. I mean after all they share some history. Nothing wrong with that but I thought that if I could make some contact with her could help me would solve that problem and thus I could feel welcome and happy in the "circle". So I've tried but I gained nothing, she would still "ignore" me at familyfunctions. Only talk with my boyfriend and only talk in their own native language. I'm glad that in the meantime I've learned some of that language but its still not enough to follow everything in the conversations. I've decided now that its enough, I've tried everything and I'm just going to suck it up. Its just very hard cause at get-togethers, she'll always be there too since the 2 brothers are very close friends as well. Never will be able to celebrate something without her there. Last new year's eve is a good example of how this woman acts. I've had some fun with the girlfriends of my boyfriend's friends, none of us really knew each other but we had fun anyways. My future sister in law was just sitting on the couch drinking, and not participating in our; "girls just wanna have fun moment". I did asked her to come dance but she didn't wanted. And frankly I didn't cared enough to ask another time. She have had her center of attention moments too often when we are just with guys (e.a her dominant character). And now I was just forgetting about her and her stupidness. But of course this was not for a long time as she got drunk and my future brother in law is just a weakling when it comes to this, and my boyfriend had to drag her home. So yet again she manipulated herself into the center of attention, especially my boyfriend felt for it cause she was so fragile and she needed help bla bla. Lucky for me they live far away and we only see them at the holidays. But in the summer they always come 2 weeks to the boy's parents house. And this monday they will come again. So my main question is, how do I make sure that this won't be 2 weeks of hell? My boyfriend and I are very happy, we'll marry next year and he does say that I"m right with a lot of things regarding her but he would never tell her to be more nice to me or try to have a conversation. He just say; well thats just how she is, you cannot do anything about it. Well he's right but why can't he just say to her like; " hey stop trying to dominate me, I have a girlfriend of my own now!" GRRRRRR. So yea thats about it for now. Feel free to comment ;)
melodiemalibu melodiemalibu
1 Response Jul 21, 2010

Is the same problem that I h as ve I though i was the one with the problem but now I can see everything clear ..