Mommy Dearest

My boyfriends mom is a control freak! He is 19 years old and still has to be home at 10 every night and some times even 9. His mom is the most manipulative person i have ever met before in my life! We aren't even allowed to have sex according to her and if we do its a big guilt trip event afterwords. If he EVER puts me above her in importance he supposively doesn't love her anymore. If he confronts her about her rules, like not being allowed to have sex, she'll say that we are allowed to but she'll take away his car (basically "ground" him). He spent the night with me for my birthday and he was in trouble when he got back home. She said that she was thinking of ways to "torture" him. She stresses me out to the point where i can't even stand to call his house because i know she is going to answer, and when i hear her voice i damn near have a panic attack because of how much she stresses me out. I'm not just being a whimp about this and maybe he isn't either. His mom is scary and she used to hit him when he was little...he says it was light spanking but i say that breaking a wooden spoon over your childs butt isn't spanking. His mom is an insane fruit cake to say the very least. And recently she has verbally abused him to the point where he started making himself throw up even she is the fattest person I know. She's so fat she ate half of my birthday cake-literally.

What I can't stand is that he takes it. I love my boyfriend, I really do but I can't stand feeling almost like I'm dating his mom. I dont want her to be the one making decisions about our personal life. She determines how he cuts his hair, practically what he wears, and even files his nails. It seems like as he gets older things get worse. Before when I was underage (And yes i know i keep going  back to the sex thing but it seems to be the best example so far of how she controls our relationship) she said we couldn't have sex until i was 18, which is understandable but now that i am 18 she says we need to be married first because it is sinful. I don't know about any of you, but i dont think that is ANY of her business. This really is the last straw. I dont know if I should stay with him any more because I don't think this is a healthy relationship. I have already broken up with him because of his mom but then go back out with him because she lays off for a little while. Still, she never stops trying to micromanage our relationship and she says things to him behind my back like how im going to not let him see his family anymore because i dont like her and I'm "making him neglect his family". she has also told him that I verbally abuse him but I don't see how she can say that when she says hurtful things to him ALL of the time. She really is trying to break us up I think and at the same time she tries to pretend that she isn't-maybe because deep down she knows it is wrong. I dont know if I'm overexaggerating or not but it would be very nice to get some input before i leave him. She even got pissed off because he spent a few hours with me on new years eve. He had to spend the whole day up until 10:00 with his grandparents and then i guess he was lucky to see me at midnight when he had to call his grand parents at the stroke of midnight anyways. There are soooooo many others things that she does. And maybe I'm just being a baby about it. I REALLY need advice!! Should I stay or go?

pandadominatrix pandadominatrix
18-21, F
4 Responses Feb 22, 2009

Well my boyfriend is 21 and still has to be home at a certain time, if he had money he would move out. But how could she possibly stop you from having sex? Your adults, she doesn't have control over his penis lol.

My boyfriends mom is almost the same way except we have to have a babysitter so she can make sure that we wont have sex. We can't even take a walk around the block by ourselves during christmas time , when there is snow on the ground, because she thinks we will have sex. I refuse to break up with him though i am not going to let some conniving manipulative witch try and take me down. I refuse and i will put up a fight. Its almost like she wants to be with him isn't it? like she wants to be the one to hug him and kiss him. I don't it sounds creepy as hell but thats how it feels with mine. Shes always hugging on him and trying to "snuggle" him. Shes a creeper.

I know exactly what your going through I know its hard because you love your bf but dont let her win she wants yall to break up if you love him you stick with him and try to ignore it as much as possible I know its hard trust me and its not easy to ignore it but dont let her ruin it for you and your bf.

Wow girl! I know exactly how you feel! My boyfriend's mom and crazy hinchman dad were living with us and eventually I just couldn't take her manipulative ways anymore and had to give my boyfriend and ultomatem: me or her. He picked me and his crazy parents left FINALLY! But im still scared they will show up later in life.. this is def. a hard situation though, you don't want to hurt your bf, but you want his mother dead! I know exactly how it is!