My Boyfriends Mom Is Extremely Controlling!

Okay, so I'm 16 and my BF is 18. We have an AMAZING relationship! We've been together for almost two years, there is just one problem...his mom. She is a teacher at our high school and she is extremely old fashioned about EVERYTHING! My boyfriend is her only son out of three kids. I'm his first serious relationship. She didn't like his last GF at all, needless to say they didn't last long. She acts so weird around me. I've asked my boyfriend whether or not she likes me, and he always tells me yes. But I can't tell. Her and I have the type of relationship that you would have with someone if you just met. But my boyfriend and I have been together for a while. His parentsare divorced, and his dad lives four hours away. I go and stay there sometimes and I love them all! But his mom is totally differen't. For starters she WORSHIPS her oldest daughter. She is a huge nerd, never had a boyfriend, doesn;t like to go out with friends, nothing. When my BF was growing up his only friend was his older sister because his mom didnt really allow him to have friends outside of her and the sister. She's in college now, and all his mom does is whine about how her little family is broken. Its so bad that my BF, and his mom both use the sisters birthday for their PIN number on their debit cards. And when she comes home every now and then my boyfriend is not allowed to see me. And im never invited anywhere! They literally go out to eat every night of the week, and out of two years I've been with them twice. His mom calls him little baby names, and wants him to call her mommy. She doesn't allow him to see me two days in a row because she needs more "family time." Whenever my boyfriend goes to his dads she is constantly messaging him on Facebook (also weird) telling him its "past his bedtime." She dictates his every move! Shes in her late 40's and has a 5 year old daughter. Whenever my boyfriend is supposed to come over the little girl says she doesnt want him to go and the mom tells her shes sorry that i "kidnap him all the time." My boyfriend is not allowed to spend holidays with me because those are reserved for her. She is constantly posting statuses on facebook about hom much she loves her baby boy. She sees me in the halls at school, and just ignores me completely. Whenever she knows I have plans with my boyfriend she'll make up something for her to do with him instead, or she makes him babysit his little sister while she goes out on her annual Friday date night with her husband.  She even tried to make him miss my birthday party! She made us reschedule our Christmas plans after she had been with him for a week down at their little getaway house because she wanted to spend more family time with him. He has to be home at 10 on weekends and hes not allowed to see me on school nights and hes EIGHTTEEN! I have begged my boyfriend to say something to her about being so controlling but hes too scared.
taycole2014 taycole2014
3 Responses Jan 7, 2012

I have a similar situation, although not as bad. Your boyfriend needs to man up and tell the mother how it is. That's completely ridiculous that he's 18 and she acts this way. I know jealous controlling moms (who act like spoiled brats) are hard to deal with. Honestly, he needs to speak up. It may not go well, but you WILL feel so much better just that he's putting in the effort to do it. My boyfriend is 19, luckily he did this accelerated thing where he's graduating college in about a year so he's moving out then. The thing is, parents can control you (to a reasonable extent) if they pay for you. However, the minute he moves out and pays for himself, she's got nothing on him. Also, he needs to alert her that he's 18 and not a child anymore! That is ridiculous that he has to be home by 10, he is not in middle school. The sad thing is that if he doesn't stand up to her now, he never will. Get him to do it, or it won't end well in the future if you guys stay together :/ GOOD LUCK!

you need to let him know thats not normal she is causin him problems from grown up.tell him if he dont change he is goin to end up like his older sister alone .