My Boyfriend's Mom

Healthy eating and exercise are very important in my life. My boyfriend's mother is severly obese and politically conservative. She refuses to talk about anything related to health or getting in to shape and acts like she knows everything. I go along with it because I love my boyfriend. But, everytime I come over to their place, she annoys the hell out of me. Basically, she is a child trapped in an old, fat, mean person's body. Every year, she and her husband go to Disney Land to ride on the rides and see all the Disney characters. They are not adventurous or open to new experiences. Their house is loaded with unhealthy foods and snacks that they munch on constantly. Even worse, they force my boyfriend to eat that crap! I hate her lifestyle and the person she chooses to be but there is nothing I can do to change it.

Recently, my parents met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. My parents pretended to go along with their childish conversations and tell me that they were happy for me. But, I knew they couldn't stand them. Now I feel that my family disapproves of my boyfriend just because of how crazy his family is. I love him and we both want to get married some day but I can't imagine being that close to his mother. I honestly hate her. What should I do?
TeeBoeBee TeeBoeBee
1 Response May 21, 2012

An uncomfortable situation to be sure...<br />
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When you are at their house there isn't anything you can do except smile and say "No Thank You" when they offer you something that you don't care to eat. As for the and nod and when you leave call your friend or mom and complain about it. <br />
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You can't impose or force your lifestyle on them anymore than you can allow them to force theirs on you. The adult thing to do is to put all of that aside and try to be civil when you need to get together - and you also have the option to let your boyfriend go visit his family alone and you can stay back making some polite excuse.<br />
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What you do not want to do is speak ****** about your boyfriends family to your boyfriend...if you have to express your concerns about them to him you need to be tactful and fair about it. <br />
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Do not let them treat you badly or walk on you, if that were the case I'd say stand up for yourself. Instead this sounds like you simply do not care for them and the way they live - it doesn't sound like they are nasty to you or anything. Be grateful for that because they could be straight up ******** and trust me - that is much worse. <br />
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They aren't beneath you - just different than you. Respect that and move on. Nobody says you have to BFF with her...just be civil and polite unless she isn't to you. <br />
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Good luck.

I can understand your frustration about their lifestyle damaging the person you love, I've been there.
As for the rest, I agree with Molly, just be civil unless she isn't.