My Boyfriend's Sister Is Ruining My Relationship.

My boyfriend's sister is 21, like myself, and recently we all decided to move in together. This arrangement did not last long. His sister refuses to get a job and can't pay rent, yet she would walk around like she owned the place. She is aggressive and nasty and called me all sorts of names under the sun for offenses such as: Parking my car in "her spot", boiling water on the stove, not acknowledging her the second she enters the room, and keeping to myself. She has told my boyfriend the most awful lies about me and told her mother that I don't have a job and just sit around all day. She has also threatened to "bloody me up" on several occasions, and I believe that she would because she's punched an ex of his before.  My boyfriend finally consented to kicking her out after 6 weeks of this living hell, however, even though he admits that she is a terrible person and a parasite, he still blames me for "starting fights". Fine. I can get over that. But I am realizing that dating him means having her around as he is EXTREMELY family oriented.

Today she dropped by the apartment for who knows what while my boyfriend was away and I refused to open the door. I told my boyfriend that she could come back later when he's home and I'm not, but he got agitated with me and convinced me to let her in. Just the very sight of her has put me into an extremely awful mood. I hate this girl more than I've ever hated someone, and I would honestly be more than happy to see her die. I know it sounds awful but she is terrible to absolutely everyone and leeches the happiness out of people. What I'm wondering is, since my boyfriend refuses to provide me any kind of support, is my relationship worth hanging on to with the knowledge that as long as I'm with him I'm going to have to see her? He and I only fight when she is involved.
angrygf2012 angrygf2012
18-21
2 Responses May 17, 2012

let him go. I'm going through the sam

e thing. I want to choke the ***** til she dies. and he always takes her side

Hi. <br />
<br />
I am probably way late to this question to help, but must say this for anyone else who may come across this. You may simply be incompatible. Or it could be more:<br />
<br />
Whether or not your relationship is worth hanging on to should not be dictated by his sister's presence. Perhaps in some ways your hate and anger for her empower her and in ways give her control over your relationship. She is too big of a factor in your decision making.<br />
<br />
Hear me out...<br />
<br />
I do agree that she seems obviously abusive verbally and seems very terrible. Sharing these things with your boyfriend, fr<x>amed in statements such as "This is the way Sister makes me feel..". If your boyfriend cares enough for you, he should care enough for your well being and emotions to correct the situation. Notice the focus is not so much on her and what she is doing more than it is on You and how you feel and how you are being affected. And none of this can come out as an angry rant. Just honest open emotion in as calm a tone as possible.<br />
<br />
This does not necessarily mean choosing between you or her. That is an unreasonable request or notion. You don't have to choose. Humans do not have a finite amount of love and affection and respect that must only be handed out to a chosen few. Don't force people to chose. Ultimatums in relationships are toxic. And lead nowhere good.<br />
<br />
Instead, we must actively work at making peace in all our relationships and situations. Love, respect, commitment and daily grinding, working, and dealing with the issues.<br />
<br />
After all this, if he is unresponsive nor shows no concern for you, then tell him so and how that makes you feel and how that hurts.... Still nothing..., then get the hell out there! ;D<br />
<br />
You may have already. Then I hope this helps for the next one.<br />
<br />
P.S. It may also simply be the fact of living together. It's a whole other beast. Sometimes even the best of friends cannot be roommates. Siblings even worse. Siblings & significant others... disaster!