In advance, I apologize for this being so long, but honestly, I'm at my wits end here. Basically some quick background: I'm a college student. I lost my dad when I was young to alcohol and my mom to suicide a few months back. Besides feeling abandoned, my fiancé wants to add in neglect in there as well. His sister is getting married soon (of which we're both in the wedding), but I'm not close to her at all. She sent out Facebook invites for her wedding shower but unfortunately due to prior school commitments I can't attend. Now, she's scheduled her bachelorette party on me and my fiance's anniversary. She claims to have tried to work around the date (which is total BS-saying that the date worked for everybody else in her bridal party but that lie has come back to bite her in the ***), but now wants to ***** at me because I'm making a big deal about it. I have tried explaining it to my fiancé and his sister (out of respect for him, of course), but this will be our first and only anniversary as an engaged couple, and that means a lot to me. I mean, I thought I was being an adult by talking to her about this issue instead of hiding behind my fiancé (which is what she did by having him tell me things she needed said). When I tried talking to the sister about it, she just kept interrupting me when I was speaking and kept calling me childish and other hateful things. The worst part was that my fiancé DIDNT EVEN SAY ANYTHING TO STOP HER-which was so disrespectful and rude on so many levels. And when I brought up the fact that one of her other bridesmaids couldn't make it to the bachelorette party she just brushed it off! Now, I could totally understand her being upset with me if we were even friends but if I wasn't dating her brother I would probably never talk to her. My fiancé says that she is upset because she loves me and thinks the world of me, however she knows nothing about me. She doesn't know my favorite color. She doesn't know my biggest fears. Hell, I even doubt she knows what I want to do with my degree once I graduate college in the Spring (and my next door neighbor-who I see every once in a blue moon could tell you that). Point being: she's being super selfish and a brat. And my fiancé is backing her up. We got into this huge argument over a stupid party and because he didn't stand up for me in front of his sister. I've explained to him multiple times that because he didn't take up for me, it tells his family that they can just talk to me any kind of way (hell will freeze over before I let that happen again) and that he doesn't respect me or care about me more than his family. I mean, I'm supposed to marry the guy for f@$!'s sake! I'm supposed to become his family and be his number one! He's sleeping with me NOT his sister. He gave that ring to me NOT his sister so why the hell isn't he manning up? He says that I am being unfair because I've put him between a rock and a hard place but as I explained to him, he made it unfair when he have me that ring and asked me to marry him. I didn't make him propose. I didn't make him get down on one knee and commit. Correct me if I'm wrong, but when two people get engaged it sorta means they've got each other's backs and that they're ready to become one cohesive unit. Please tell me if I'm going crazy here. After all the hurt I've been through, I'd like at least one person to choose me and I expect it to be him. He should want to choose me, right? I've lost all respect for his sister and this one fight has almost completely ruined my relationship with my fiancé because he's always putting his family's needs over mine. There have been other instances like this where he's always taken their side and I've about had it. Am I wrong for not wanting to be with someone-let alone marry someone that can't seem to realize that I should come first? I put him first and think about him all the time. When his dad was put in jail or he needed a new car, I helped him out when his family wouldn't even lift a damn finger, but he still tells me that "he doesn't know if he'll ever be able to put me first over his family". I'm beyond heartbroken because I've invested 8 years in this relationship and I have no clue what to do.
TheItGirltwopointoh TheItGirltwopointoh
22-25, F
Aug 20, 2014