"oh, Hes Just A Big Kid Really..."

I grew up with decent values and have certain respects for people. I married into a family that is a bit bizzarre but things went ok for a while. My experiences with my in-laws has iced up a bit recently and i think I have almost had enough.  I have witnessed my brother-in-law do some strange things over the ten years i have been married. I took many of them like a grain of salt for a while until i noticed he had no fear of putting his hands on my wife or saying sexual jokes about her under his breath. Also, I overheard a story about my bro-in-law and how he had to be dragged away from a flirting 15 yr old doughter of his friend during a visit. That raised some questions about the future involving my three young girls. (is there something i should know about this guy?) While i was proccessing what had been going on i told the wife there will be no more harley rides with her bro-in-law, something he likes to do when we get together. Is that too harsh? I cant stand the thought of watching him ride her around with her arms around him while i sit there knowing full well he feels to do and say what he likes with my wife. I confirmed some things were said one day with the wife and she said she thought she heard it too. She mentioned it to her sister who is my brother-inlaws wife. "oh, hes just a kid..." also..  "why dosnt he get the grudge over and punch him in the face.." My sister-in-law replied. I was shocked to hear not one person in my wife's family were condemning his actions!  The sad part is that my wife shows tolerance to it and i get the feeling that she expects me to leave it alone.. We had a big fight over the subject one day before a holiday visit to her mothers when I came up with the idea of sending a message to her family by simply not being around during events or get-togethers or even not answering their phone calls. I thought it would be more mature than the good old fashioned punch in the face. Another thought, why am i bringing my kids to a place where daddy and uncle redneck might get violent?

As the year progressed, my in-laws finally took notice that i wasnt with on visits or cookouts. My wife just said i was busy. I Cant stay away forever. I am going to have to confront this eventually. I have pondered consulting a lawyer in case there was a violent confrontation in the future. I assume if i make a statement about whats been going on and keep it betewwn me and the lawyer, it could be used legally in case something goes down between my brother-in-law and myself.
Aug 7, 2010