I Need to Know If It's Worth It
I am currently living with a wonderful guy and we plan on getting married. I am also currently living with his chronically-failing, egotistical, sexist, demeaning, demanding, lazy brother. The more that I have learned about their relationship, the more I can see that my BIL is a life-long parasite that resents me for taking his brother away.
My fiancee has been living with his brother for two years now, the first year or so even sharing a bed in his brother's 1bedroom, overpriced apartment to save his brother from being evicted. His brother had an exceptionally good job, but is alone due to his sexist attitudes and selfish, excessive behaviors, and deep in debt because he has no self control. So my fiancee stepped in to care for him, much like everyone in his family has always done, which means that this egotistical jerk continues to treat everyone like they owe him and continues to waste money excessively.
Since I have moved in, I have been forced to take care of him like he is a baby and put up with his insulting comments about women. He tries to keep my fiance from marrying me because he is upset that all of his friends have married and he is alone and over thirty. He has been fired for sleeping through work now, and laying in bed every single day while lying to my boyfriend about going out to try to get work. All this time, I work full time and come home to pick up after him, if I want to eat anything I have to cook for him, wash his dishes, I have found his clothes in my laundry hamper since he never does his own laundry, I have to take his trash out for him, and care for his dog that he is too selfish to walk because I hate to see it neglected. He has actually pretended he was alseep to get out of feeding it.
The worst part is that he is too incompetent and lazy to live on his own, so I worry I will spend the rest of my life caring for this resentful jerk. I hate life here so much. I keep getting promises that it will be temporary, but that is because my boyfriend believes this guy who tells everyone "he's superman" and "being his own boss" will someday magically find the skills to keep a job and manage his life.
I love my fiance very much, but having to bite my tounge and clean up after this chauvanist slob makes me feel like I don't even know who I am. I am being treated like a slave when he doesn't work, pay, or even have the decency to pitch-in. I know that when we get rid of him, he will go back to paying people to pick up after him, feed him, and bringing home hookers- since he's unemployed he'll get evicted twice as fast, and be back trying to live off my husband. I am considering leaving them both.
I need to know if having the perfect husband is worth hating your home and playing maid for a sexist jerk?