I Hate My Kids. Will It Pass?

I do not know that I love any of my 7 children. and that is something that scares me and brings me shame. I do not want them near me at all at anytime. I guess in a way I am blessed my wife is an awesome patient loving mom. She has taken the full burden of all aspects of their lives. I feel like **** for dishing them off to her. I thought i loved all of them, but about 6 months ago Its as if i woke up one morning to find them equally repulsive. I love my wife she is a fabulous woman, wife and mother. I have no idea if this will pass or if its here to stay. I am the youngest of 9 and started caring for kids when i was 9 and i have never been without a child since.
KRBO KRBO
36-40
4 Responses Dec 15, 2012

maybe you just need a little break to be alone with your wife, a weekend away or something. Ofcourse you love your kids, what you have is same sh-t , different day syndrome!!

Book yourself a break somewhere, even if it is just camping for one night somewhere, let grandma or grandpa stay overnight with the Walton family !! Alot ofus do not realise what we have till its gone.

Some time back I watched this lady on telly, she was reliving her life when yourge, her major statement and impact that she had on me has resounded with me all my life. She was saying that when she hears people saying that they are "bored" puzzeled her and she was saying what a wonderful privilage that must be -- to be bored, to have the time to be bored..

Her life experience as a child did not allow this. She was marched across Europe, aged 6 years of age on a death march to a concentration camp and w as then occupied soley for the next 5 years trying to survive the best she could, avoiding the gas chambers.

Sit yourself down in front of your telly and watch some black and white old fashioned war films, try to put yourself in some other place and contemplate then what you have around you. Hope this helps.

I find that sometimes when you are feeling low it so does not work to be around the happy cheery type people. Angie, northern england x

Thank you Yes this does help me. I will take to heart what you have said.

This has passed. For me.
I had to just get it out of my system and then It passed. I am back to my typical loving my kids . it was a hellish place to be in, and am grateful that the Higher Power saw and helped me get through it . coming in here and saying my secrets help me to see that im only as sick as my disease and exposing the secrets is the cure thank you all to have commented with authenticity and respect. it was a Support for me to hear what worked for others and how there are real people out there.

Having 7 is really hard. Being in your wife's shoes, I can tell you she needs you! Are all 7 yours biologically?

We have 4 of our own and 3 adopted, we have always adored our kiddos, even still, but we are at wits end with our adopted 3.

What are the age ranges for the kids? Maybe you could take some classes with them, my husband has found a bond with all the kids through doing Tae Kwon Do . Now they are all green belts and can spar, that also helps with aggression! We keep our days busy with games, and sports, and just goofy crap. It is the only way we have found to keep ourselves from going insane, plus our adopted kids get to be involved without us feeling we are taking away from our own babies. I am certainly no expert, as I have a few probs myself, but I do try and love and if I can't "feel" love for my extra 3 , I will have to be an expert at faking it!

Thank you for your input and your experience strength and hope.

Longer post to update is just below first story

if you have adopted 3 kids, see attachment disorder and adoption on this site. been there done it and really did not know what this was a complete eye opener, or go on google and look up attachment disorder

I'm sorry you feel this way. I really don't know if this will pass. I really don't. But I suggest you talk to a counselor about your feelings. They might be able to help you understand the root of the problem. Please do it for your wife and kids.

Thank you for your input and your experience strength and hope. Longer post to update is just below first story