My Adopted Children

A few years ago, my husband and I , with our 2 kids ( at the time) were very happy. We always played and loved our kids so much. We always knew we wanted more kids.

When my sister died in 2004, as you know many family and extended family came out of the woodwork. Well I was informed that a fam. member was fostering his 3 grandchildren and he felt he could not take care of them much longer. My husband and I discussed it and decided to adopt them. It took 2 1/2 years to finally get them to our house, by which time and little communication later, we had already had another child and I was pregnant with my daughter. We were still wanting to go through with ther adoption.

All the while, the grandfather, was aking for money, we would take the kids for the summers, and buy them clothes , toys and do all sorts of fun stuff. They showed some issues , but my research led me to believe these problems could be dealt with or worked out.

They finally came to live with us, and within the first 2 weeks it was obvious the honeymoon was over. The kids were 10 (girl), 7 (girl) , and 5 (boy). the boy was not potty trained, he would soil himself and I would have to go the school and clean him regularly, he never talked back, but he just physically would not do what was asked of him...passive disobideance. We tried evrything woith him, he did not budge. He would also physically target my yougest son who is 1 1/2 years younger. He would "accidently" shut his arms in doors, toy box lids and bump into him. He would touch his own sister in appropriately. Most of that behavior was stopped, but that led to other acting out. Now he is 8 and still wets himself, he even spread fecal matter on my wall and one day pooped in my bath towel...MY bath towel! He is filthy.

The middle girl has seizures, which the state negated to inform us of and has cying fits and detructive fits of rage, in which she hit and break stuff. She has a very hard time in school and can't seem to complete basic tasks. Her older sister whom is now 13, seems to live in a fantasy world, and refuses to do anything but read and watch tv. She is unable to hold a conversation very long before she starts talking about a book she read. That would be okay, but she will push homework or schoolwork aside or hide it and just read...that's all she wants to do.

All 3 of them emit this really weird and sometimes offensive smell, even after showering. They all three seem to have no emotion, and no desire for personal hygiene. They all continue to steal from us, our family members and my other kids piggy banks, even though they are solely dependant on us to take them to the store....and we pretty much have given them whatever they want. We are constantly getting on to them about pickingthier nose and eating it...who the hell does that at 13 , 10, and 8 years old? If we go out, they will eat until they get sick, no matter if they like the food or not, they did that at home a few times, before we figured out , they are not hungry, they don't know how to stop! They have to be reminded over and over again about the rules and consequences, they genuinely forget! The youngest and the oldest seem to have this facsination with ripping things for the sheer sake of doing it. They will destroy toys, clothes, paper, soap, linens, anything...just to ruin it? Why , who does that? I am so tired of dealing with them, and I feel so guilty, I never wanted to bring them in to a worse situation. I would never have dreamed to bring hurt and emotional abuse into thier loves. I tried so hard to love them, i prayed, cried, disciplined, even took toime away from my own kids to have "special" time with them...for what? The oldest and the youngest have no emotion , they don't seem to be shaken by anythging. I would dare say they look at my stress and see it as some sick experiment on how far they can test a person's phsych.

I feel empty, I want them gone, but it is harder for an adopter to rid themselves of thier kids than it is for the woman who gave birth to is that fair? My biological kids 4 of them are suffering, my husband is distant, and I am so angry and hateful. I have prayed, and tried to get God to guide me, what the heck do I do? I am so scared that if we seek help, they will take my kids away, because a good mother doesn'y scream and say hateful things to any child, and she doesn't get rid of kids , just because they have something wrong with them.

I have asked thier mom if she would take them back or just take them for the summer, but she won't unless we give her money...we aren't poor, but i can't pay her....I already have paid for 2 trips for them to visit her and gave her money to buy them Christmas gifts. I hate the whole family, even thier grandfather is a shmuck. He won't even talk to them anymore.

Oh God, how can I learn to appreciate them for the children they are? I've tried everything, I am so overwhelmed! And this folks isn't even the highlight reel in it's entirety...
fedup7 fedup7
31 Responses Jan 5, 2013

Get those kids out of your house ASAP before you end up with damaged biological children.. your not making good decisions for your real kids by having that chaos in your home. Those other kids aren't your responsibility, your kids are.

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I can't stand this! If people like you had been educated properly on how to deal with, redirect and love these children, they would of been OK years ago. Instead you've made them feel hated and unloved. Like they are less worthy as human beings. That my friend, has only made it worse. Its not uncommon unfortunately for people with your lack of understanding to adopt. They are so difficult because they have lived a life full of rejection and abuse. They eat until they're sick because someone starved them. They ACT like they don't love you because they don't want to be hurt if you give them away like everyone else did. Which is exactly what you are doing whether they turn 18 under your roof or not. Because trust me, they see that you feel differently. I speak as the now adult adopted child who was also rejected by my adoptive parents. So I know. And you have hurt them deeply. I never realized how much it hurt me to get adopted but still have no family until I was grown. I still long for their acceptance. But they have made their minds up. So I will settle for being a voice for the rest of us. Please listen to me! I'd be happy to help any of you! Let me help you understand your adopted children! Disruption is so much worse than seeking real help.

ok so I feel exactly like them but I hear your voice, but what can I do to help my adopted teen bond with us and not act violently and steal and keep repeating all these negative behaviors? And we have been in family therapy with her for many years and it hasn;t helped

Put him out!!!

Funny how you can say u "hate this" because u "lived it" u have NO IDEA what the families of foster and adopted children go through!!! I am so incredibly sick of EVERYONE. making excuses for them !! Not enough food,not enough love,no stability,no consistancy,bla bla bla ! This is bull ****! It is simple minded ******** like you who thinks the fucken world owes u something because u r a foster kid ! But **** the families all over the world who take theese little ******** into their home because they want children and have so much love to offer only to get completely ****** !!!! These children just keep taking and taking no matter how exausted and defeated we r as parents nothing is ever good enough!! They claim to want a family and a loving home but whenever they get it they just **** it all up and **** on whoever tried to show them compassion! I am living it right now , We r exausted as parents but god forbid we complain or ask for help coz then we r the insensative ******! There is no hope for these kids they do not want a family they want to destroy anything good in the world !!!

Honey you need therapy.. those kids should have been put out long ago. You speaking out of emotion not logic. I'm sorry you had a rough childhood but she don't owe them kids nothing. Their biological parents is responsible for them. Why should she sacrifice and damage her family trying to help someone else's kids? If it's too much, then it's too much. She should get credit for trying, most people wouldn't ever take in someone else's children so why is she being crucified for attempting to help? Sounds like you should deal with your bitterness or at least direct it to the right people (adopted kids biological parents). Everyone has a story, it doesn't excuse extreme difficult behavior when someone's trying to help.

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What they are doing isn't there fault yea they maybe hard to handle but think about them they have been moved from house to house and having them live with there mother a few times is hard on them mentally they have no idea where they fit in and for those that say they don't like their child they adopted that is the worse thing to say cause they my think that no one could love them the 8 year old having the bathroom problems well that just cause he doesn't know better year it's a bad but it's cause no one has taught him at his level of thinking as for the girls hitting and breaking things is a sign that says she doesn't know love cause she think no one does you say you tried but if had then you would love them I feel bad for them cause of their life style and how they are the black sheep in the family oh and as for the oldest she is closing up for the same-thing children have different ways to display the fact they feel no love and those signs are very common signs of no love and with out love they won't feel emotion cause the don't have any emotion to feel. If anything they are hurt lost and what they need most is someone they cares with all their heart. By the way you need to check you grammar cause think your children could have written a whole lot better than you.

You're obviously ignorant and have a lot of nerve to correct anyone's grammar, let alone give advice.

I know some time has passed but I feel so awful after hearing your story and pray that you have not kept those children. You are destroying your life, your marriage, and the lives of your husband and children. It is not worth it because these "children" that you are caring for do not have the ability to feel love and your time is waisted on them, time that you could spend on your children instead. Not to mention what is mentally happening to your own children and how they will turn out from this negative influence. You have gone through more than any human should in trying to care for these people who will probably turn out to be psychopaths. Please, in God's name do your family and yourself a favor and send have the authorities return them to their legal guardians.

And Mozart101. Why don't you give fedup7 your address so she can send the kids down your way.

SO TRUE!!! It's not worth sacrificing your biological family trying to raise someone else's children. I actually feel sorry for your children. They have to suffer because you bit off more than anyone can chew. Send them on their way before you ruin your own children. The adopted kids really aren't your responsibility, your children are

You should not have to put up with that! I know I wouldn't! Those kids would be gone the first day if they did that at my house. I refuse to be miserable in my own home. Some people on here will call you hateful and that is so wrong. You are not being hateful. Those kids are being hateful if anything. One thing I can't stand is kids with disgusting behaviors. Your own kids come first. Here is an idea...give the kids mother money to take them for a while and when she does, move away and don't tell her where you are. She will then be stuck with her own problem.

I can't believe what I'm hearing, I understand your frustration. you need to learn how to redirect your anger, little human beings were talking about. serious of bad behavior that is a direct reflection of your parenting skills! please have medical attention for them, counseling for you and them . behavior classes on the Bates basic functions daily. there a way that you can help them

and I have to say that you're being very selfish self centered... and mean and they would probably be better off with somebody who has genuine love ...
you sound very hateful try putting yourself in their shoes. judging them? really what kind of person are you? sick and evolve and you shouldn't been allowed to have any children , people like you make me sick you need serious help! can't wait till the tables are turned in your old and gray and somebody is going to have to take care of you and your diapers you think anybody's gonna 2 with that attitude, good luck sister God doesn't like ugly  



You have no idea what you're talking about at ALL. How dare you try to shame someone who has come here for help? You're the evil, hateful one.

Yeah right.. get rid of them.. They may be little human beings but they can destroy her marriage, children, and mental health. No logic in helping someone that's hurting you in the process. That's dumb and unfair to her little human biological children. In order to do what your saying, she would have to sacrifice her own family to try fixing someone else's screw ups ( their biological parents). SHE DON'T OWE Them NOTHING

Don't feel bad. Your story is exactly what happened to my mother when her mother died. At the time, my grandmother was raising 3 children from my cousin and my mother was the only one that stepped in to help. I now see that it was a HUGE mistake. The three kids were also not potty trained, destructive and slow. We did everything to give them a normal childhood, and now that they are teens, have re-paid us by stealing from us, physically attacking us, and being worthless humans. Cut your losses and seek the help of an attorney now. The oldest one attacked my stepson with a knife because she was jealous that I was showing him affection. You can't save children like them and NO ONE can tell you different unless they have been through the same experience. If anything, ignore them and hope they run away of no one will listen. Your biological children need you. They are your responsibility. Not those rejects.

I completely share your pain. I adopted 2 boys from foster care 2 years ago ( ages 8 and 10) and we have had nothing but grief from them for two years. We have tried so hard to love them and connect as parents, but they just shut out us out. the younger one is not so bad, but the older one has already been removed from our house once because we felt he was a danger to our mental and physical being, and stupid as we are, we took him back after three months when he got kicked out of his foster home. Now, he has only been back three months, and we want him gone. I hate myself for admitting that I despise him. I have come to the conclusion that I will never love him, for he has treated me so poorly. If I were someone reading this, I would probably think i was a terrible person. Nobody can really judge until they have lived it. If this child leaves my home (again), it is not for a lack of trying on my part. I exhausted my heart and my soul, but I am human.

I was adopted. My adoptive parents and I have no relationship with each other and I wish we did. I'm no less an orphan now than I was at 4 years old when my mother signed her rights away. Your children have their own issues. You have to develop an understanding. Put yourself in their shoes. Imagine if their life had been yours. Its not all about bonding and whether they do or don't. Sometimes forcing love only pushes them farther. Love is a weapon to them. Its a way for them to be hurt. First you have to help them overcome their past. Not forget, but learn to accept and understand. To deal. Then you can work on the bond. Let them know you aren't going anywhere and that they weren't born with "unwanted" stamped on their foreheads. Because that's what we think. That's what they need. Security. To know for sure its permanent and that you won't abandon them like everyone else has. Then love can be just love and there's nothing to be afraid of.

my heart truly goes out to you! you are not evil , and as an adoptive mom I can really understand. I agree that your biological children should not have to suffer, and your health is no small factor. as much as we try, we can't erase the scars from a child's past. Only a super human could survive what you have taken on. Blessings to you for being willing to try, and dare one try to criticize you, ask them if they want to help the children? Are they raising 7 kids? when they are, then and only then can they have a conversation with you.

Ok, see my blog about adoption and attachment disorder. My stance would be for you to really look after your own children and be more of a distant aunty than a mother to these children. You could fulfill a meaningful role as a caring auntie, these kiddies probably could benefit with a team behind them. I adopted two girls aged 5 and 2, the 5 year old is in care now. The best outcome, her little sister is no longer bullied and I have kept my sanity!

OMG WOW I thought I had problems.........

I'm so sorry you are going through all of that! It's awful! I completely understand too! My husband and I have three wonderful sons and when my youngest sister's four special-needs children were taken from her by Child & Youth Social Sercices, we wanted to save them and keep them in the family. We adopted her youngest daughter (2 yrs) and my aunt and uncle adopted the oldest boy (10 yrs) and the twins (b/g 5 yes). We thought we were doing the right thing by our family and by those four innocent kids. But I've heard "the road to hell is paved in good intentions"..... So it is...

A 5 year old that isnt potty trained?? Sh*tting himself at 8 & spreading it on walls?! Absolutely unacceptable. If the kids behave like this & show no emotion they may have Asperger's Sybdrome or Autism. A key trait is a complete lack of empathy(NO emotions-human robots). Another trait is an inability to function socially since they are mentally ill & have no emotion or ability to understand emotion or even concieve of its existance. You need to protect your otger children & get rid of them. The worst thing you can do is sacrifice the well being of yourvchildren because you are afraid of looking like a bad adoptive parent if you give them up. In actuality a GOOD parent would send them to someone who could get them the help they need and would keep them away from the kids that dont have these problems. God if I had to grow up around mentally ill kids like this Id be so scarred for life its not even funny...

Oh sweet woman, i feel your pain. I have two adopted ones myself that have sent me running for anyone that could possibly understand the huge feelings if guilt and shame i have for feeling so detached and almost hate-filled towards them when they DAILY and repeatedly destroy my things, lie to adults that i beat them, and look for ways to make me as miserable as they are. And mine ARE in therapy AND on medication! God is my hope..... But i dream of running away every single day. I'm sorry for all the people that have attacked you on here. Know you have a friend out there that isn't judging you, but joining desperate hands with you in prayer for all of our kids.

Dear Fed Up7, I understand all too well the position you are in. My husband and I adopted 2 boys from foster care when they were little. They are both teenagers now and acting out in different ways. It may help you to remember that they have lost the 2 most important things a child could ever lose, their bio parents. It affects them in ways we could never understand. My older son says f-you to me often, is using drugs and alcohol and we are often at our wits end, but we will never give up on them. Our younger son is disrespectful as well, but I could not love them more if they came from my own body. They are getting therapy and we hope it's making a difference. We are getting help, too. This is too difficult to do without support. We hope that someday, when they are adults, they will remember that they had adopted parents who loved them, tried to teach them right from wrong, and how to be successful and happy in this world. We think they will be fine. What we do as their adopted parents may never fill the void left behind by their bio parents, but we do believe we are doing God's work. Do what you can and let Him do the rest. Keep praying. I hope you will get the help for them and for yourself that you so clearly need and deserve. God bless you!

Do what my adopted parents did, confine them to their room and lavish love upon your biological kids. I does not affect them in any way.... Seriously I hate all of you 'moms'. But seriously when the going gets tough, you can always dump them like yesterday's trash. And the lack of emotion thing, I did it too, it is a PTSD side affect. But seriously now I am a engineer and make 50k, their biological kid still lives at home, and Is unemployed. You have heard that with great trial comes great people, well it is true. And the fantasy thing, I did it as well; I believed in dragons until I was 15. And honestly I don't think you should be a mom at all, you guys make me soo angry. You act like moms but your not, your children trying to raise children. Your the reason why kids cry themselves to sleep, why they commit suicide, and why they runaway, hay, I'll even credit you will global warming. Do you think they wanted to be adopted, to be ripped away from all they knew to live with someone who will never love them, to go to school smelling like trash because the social workers shoved their cloths In trash bags like junk. You don't understand, how could you? You have probably bad a menial life. I honestly wish at their was a word for how much I hate you and those like you, I wish you would all just fall into some abyss and make each other miserable and leave kids alone.

You were obviously adopted's apparent by your misdirected anger & the way you speak. It is NEVER the fault of a loving and caring parent who tries & tries until they are blue in the face that they were strapped with a child they simply cannot help. Oh and it's not normal to believe in dragons until you are 15 OR to have a lack of emotion. Those are serious signs of mental disorders or underlying trauma. You obviously hate your OWN mom...dont take it out on every one else wgo is a mom just because yours sucked.

(RegretHavingMySon) thank you for defending the adoptive mom!
Sadly, I understand all of the pain of adopting Reactive Attachment Kids.
It can be a living hell. Many times, on top of dealing with the Reactive Attachment we have to deal with issues of drug and alcohol effects.
Not only does one of our adopted children have attachment issues, oppositional defiant issues but also has some neurological problems that affects his learning.

Perhaps one day Riverr will decide to adopt some of these challenging kids and then Riverr may know first hand the pain that many of us go through trying to make a better life for these children. Or maybe Riverr can do a better job... Anytime he/she would like to take on the challenges let us know.
Riverr it is possible that you did have some bad adoptive parents and I'm sure these other adoptive moms would be the first to tell you we are sorry that you had to go through that.......but is it also possible that they weren't so bad and if this is the case we can only hope that one day you will have the gratitude for what they were able to do for you.
It Is great that Riverr is doing so well and we can only hope the best for you.

You obviously hate adopted children. Because we are anything less than perfect to you. Its not all about your pain. Maybe you don't try in the right ways! Because you don't really care about the child. You just wanted a child. You adopted for selfish reasons and opted out when it wasn't the happily ever after you were looking for. Leave this person alone. Yes I mean PERSON! The world seems to forget that we were born too just like you.

There is no way that someone with your grammar and spelling errors and immature speech patterns is an engineer of anything except of a vivid imaging and a victim mentality. If you were confined to your room, it was probably because your insatiable need for attention sucked the life out of everyone around you and they did it to preserve the family. How old will you have to be before you stop with the misdirected anger and drop to your knees in gratitude that someone TRIED to help you instead of letting you rot in the streets? How many children living in impoverished countries would have been so happy to have a family, a home, food, heat, running water, warm clothing and education that they would be speaking with an attitude of thankfulness for the people who tried to love them?

I'm in the same boat. I'm an adult now and have biological children of my own. My adoptive parents hate me. Nothing I do is good enough. They've even told me they wish they never adopted me. Tried to have my daughter taken by dcs since she was born to "replace" me. Fill the void I couldn't. I try so hard not to hate adoption but its hard not to. Its good to see I'm not alone.

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These kids are damaged goods and should be returned to their grandpa like a sack of rootren have the safety of your own biological children to worry about. I really have a hard time understanding why you would take on additional responsibility .

You hit the nail on the head KittyKatJane! Cheers to that!

I can feel the frustration when I read your story. You feel trapped and you want out but understand that you can either improve these children's lives and save them or you can be the instrument to their destruction. These children are damaged, you need professional help from their school, your local community family centre and other people who can relieve you from them when they are being difficult. It's amazing how children who have been mentally, physically and sexually abused can grow into amazing and productive people they just need someone to believe in them and be patient with them. This is your job, god has given you this task otherwise you wouldn't be in this position. Accept your situation and make it work. Be patient with them, teach them and most importantly love them. You can be their savior. Good luck

Your sister was drug-addicted, yes?

"All 3 of them emit this really weird and sometimes offensive smell, even after showering.
Fear sweat.

"The middle girl has seizures, which the state negated to inform us of and has cying fits and detructive fits of rage, in which she hit and break stuff. She has a very hard time in school and can't seem to complete basic tasks."
Head injury would be my guess, probably due to being beaten.
Suspect they all were beaten, they should have full-body and head x-rays, looking for healed fractures.

"He would touch his own sister in appropriately. Most of that behavior was stopped, but that led to other acting out. Now he is 8 and still wets himself."
Both are red flags for having been sexually abused. If one child was sexually abused, suspect they all were sexually abused. They need an exam to make sure they have no STD's.

"If we go out, they will eat until they get sick, no matter if they like the food or not", Chances are, they were chronically malnourished.

"The oldest and the youngest have no emotion , they don't seem to be shaken by anythging." Reaction to repeated and overwhelming trauma.

"They will destroy toys, clothes, paper, soap, linens, anything...just to ruin it? Why , who does that?" Traumatized children do.

Totally agree with the post above me, I have adopted and bio kids and we have dealt with many of the same issues. It takes a lot of therapy and knowing that its not you and these kids will push you to the brink to see if you will dump them like everyone else did. There sounds like a huge amount of Reactive Attachment and PTSD and Sexual Abuse going on. You need to seek help for these kids and they need to know they are loved and safe while keeping your bio kids safe too. Its really hard and sometime those 2 steps forward come with 10 back but they need permanency and help and so do you. There is no way you can do this on your own. I love my girls as if I gave birth to them and each and every day they know that but it sometimes feels like you cant win for loosing. We went to homeschooling it really helped us, lots of therapy and we know that we are doing are best because they are our babies. But as one of my girls was screaming how she hated me tonight I realized it is because she is mad and wants me to hurt as much as she does inside. I just wish I could talk it all away but I cant only time and therapy can along with lots of love and devotion. I look at it the same way our best friends do with their boys that have autism they are our kids and what ever it takes we will meet it as a family.

they have reactive attachment disorder.... google this and nancy thomas

It says respond with support and respect. Can some of us on this blog try to do this please.

To me, the lady has taken on a momentas task in trying to give these children a home and some kind of a normality and good start.

Any of you here giving advise, well and good if you have been there, seen it, done it, read the book and smelt the coffee.

It seems to me, apart from myself who has done the above that alot of the blogs negatively sent here are from those of you who absolutelly have no clue.

Your advise is worthless, it is as much use as a chocolate fireguard !! and could even be more detramental in the sense that you are putting an already depressed parent at her wits end over the edge, by reading your useless crap. Regards, kind to those who care, Angie - Northern england.

ps I'm the "Attachment disorder and adopted children" blog -- yes - the one thats read the book and smelt the coffee. !!

Those children need therapy. It's obvious. They exhibit some serious signs of severe emotional trauma. If a 5 year old hasn't even been potty trained, it's pretty safe to say that he has been neglected. Sure, food and clothing needs may have been met, but there sounds to have been a serious lack of intellectual and emotional stimuli.
As for the daughter that constantly reads and watched TV - how can you NOT see that she's trying to escape reality because she's miserable? I mean, are you really THAT unaware? "Bad kid! All she does is read!" Have you ever stopped to ask yourself WHY?
You are very ill equipped in helping these children. You need to get them into some therapy so that someone with a little bit of know-how can help them. You obviously are incapable of asking the real questions here - contact a professional who can.

And who are you to decide whether they are "special needs" or otherwise. What ever NEEDS they have I am sure that you would not have a clue what they would be --- and would be seen running down the road with steam behind your heals if you were ever confronted with the huge responsiblility of feeding, clothing and looking after children whom are not even biologically yours. So a Duh Duh Duh to you aswell. -- what does Duh mean anyway, ok I have figured it out --- Doppie, Uneducated ---- and Hugegely ignorant.

They are special needs!!!!!!!! Duh!

and I know this sounds daft, but youtube, emily sande the song CLOWN this has got to give you a lift as believe me it is something worth hearing and also with 7 childen perhaps a pair of headphones to drown them out would not be a bad idea. !! Love angie x

Do you know something, I am from England. I think you are doing a brilliant job and keep up the good work

Plus, please look up my recent blog statine Attachment Disorder and Adopted Children, I think that this will absolutely help you with getting a more indepth feel about the problems you are having with your adoptive children.. Apparentley, this is a new diagnostic tool recognised only recently within the past 5 years or so. i have been out of nursing for 15 years and never heard of this termonology at that time. Social services I find have tried to dismiss this diagnostic tool as i think it would prevent many potential adoptions being successful if known what the likely outcomes could be.

Please do not feel guilty. When you are in the thick of it trying to deal with unreasonable and difficult behaviour such as this and not seeing any solutions in sight the situation can seem overwelming which results in you being exhausted and depressed. It sounds to me that your adopted children have "attachment disorder" which is a common diagnosis for children who have not have recieved early nurtering and attention. I adopted 2 girls aged 3 and 5. When the oldest hit 13 she became unmanageable, not accepting any parental authority and constatnly running of. She also had special needs being high up the the autistic spectrum. Basically physically capable and fit with a 6 year old mentality and a 14 year old body intent on having a full adult life and constantly looking for a "boyfriend" I live in England so I am not sure how your social services operate, but my advise would be to document everything down, even video ecetra to enable the authorities to see how difficult your situation is. My eldest girl ended up in care and is recieving expert help, she still runs of but atleast she is being kept safe. Some children NEED a team behind them. I did the right thing in requesting much needed help. At the time I went through a berievement type scenario whilst she was in care but a year on I know I have done the right thing. Her little sister was negetavily affected by her behaviour and she is now much improved. I hit rock bottom whereby I considered prison would have been a better option than trying to raise her any longer. Hope this has helped. Plus do not be afraid to contact your local police when there is any violence insitgated by your teenage children as the situation could be exasperated by you not doing so when they may deside to accuse you falsley of any violent actions towards them. All this needs documenting to support your case so write every thing down and seek help. Angie northern England. X

These children sound as if they are suffering from abuse and neglect. They need professional help.

Your really nieve.....put them in therapy. they were abusedf children of course there going to act this way! You really should have looked into facts before adopting broken children. I work with disabled and abused children please message me.

Your children will not be taken away if you say you cannot properly care for all what, 7 children at once? Say you bit off more than you can chew. My sister is a social worker and I showed her this... She says you could easily work the system as long as you play it off as too great of a financial burden and as if you are looking out for the best interest of your own children and your adopted children. Tell them you want all the children to be properly cared for and 7 is just too many.