I found this group because I googled I hate my child. What a horrible thing, right? I know that I don't actually *hate* him, I just get so angry and frustrated, it feels like hate. I actually love him very, very much. He's 12 years old and very smart. He's already skipped a grade and could actually move up again, but won't since his maturity level is far lower than his reading level. So going into 8th grade, he not only thinks he's smarter than me (which he is in many ways), he thinks he's BETTER than me. He talks down to me, he's disrespectful and treats me like his personal assistant. I do discipline him - almost every day I'm putting him on restriction from screen time or hanging out with his friends. But it doesn't help. I find myself yelling at him a lot and even insulting him back. It's ridiculous how I behave, I'm ashamed of myself. But he wears me so thin. I believe that spanking for extreme situations only, but I wouldn't even be able to do it because he would just laugh at me and call me weak. I want to be a good mom to him and I want him to grow up to be a kind, respectful man. I have no idea how to do that. Just typing this out is helping me to calm down. And reading other people's posts - - the problems, as well as the kind, helpful responses - has made me feel better too. If anyone has any suggestions for helping be better mom to him, I'd be so grateful.
pinkpaisley pinkpaisley
46-50, F
4 Responses Aug 19, 2014

I'm going though it my 8 yr old and just found out he's gifted. Those are the same traits he has. No matter what punishment it has no effect on him.

Ok - a bit late in the day at 12 but if you have any carrots to dangle in front of him this may help..

Right lets get to it. You do hardly nothing and by the time you have finished with this -- he will prefer a spank on his backside!!

Get yourself an big book of lined paper. A pencil and a rubber. Next time he calls you "A Whatever" Wright it down on the top of the page.. I will not call my mum a ????.

Your attitude is that you do not give a Sh?t weather or not he completes 4 or 14 pages !! But and a big But -- until completed you' are not taking him to wherever, meaning soccer match or swimming or any ball games, or he ain't getting his pocket money.

Hide the remote and gadget remotes from him. He completes his lines or he does not get them back. If he refuses - pick your fight times carefully. At 10 o'clock at night he wins, whats he got to loose but sleep. If he refuses one day, say nothing and when he gets home from school at 3 o'clock the next day, No remotes, no telly, more insults from him and up 3 pages of lines to 4 or even 20!!.

Plus factor, if teachers tell you that you are not trying to dicipin him at home you have the evidence of the pages and pages he has had to complete. So save it. Plus, his favourite grandma or grandpa may be asking him as to why he is calling his a mum a F???. or whatever. Worked for me for my two and they are girls. Good Luck. Mine still fear putting pen to paper. !! Love Angy.

That sounds horrible. Why doesn't he respect you? Kids can be awful.

I can relate. There's an easy-to-implement book called "Backtalk: 4 Steps to Ending Rude Behavior in Your Kids", by Audrey Ricker. It really helped me & my son. God bless you, your son & your family. <3