I Detest My Oldest Daughter

It's sad and hard to deal with a child going through these things. Have you had her evaluated for bipolar disorder. Hypersexuality is part of that. I'm not a doctor and not really qualified to comment but I have a son who makes me crazy and after years they diagnosed him with bipolar disorder. It may very well be not her fault.

The things you said she did are very normal, a child cutting her sister's hair, not wanting to hold your hand, throwing out make up? She obviously didn't know how hard you worked for that and if was that valuable to you, you shouldn't have left it in a place she had access to. What energetic child wants to hold their hateful mother's hand across a parking lot? Children don't see danger like us adults do. Trying to murder her younger sister sounds like quite the "overstatement of the century". You saw a child you didn't like fighting with one you favored, you saw it differently then it was. Jumpin out the window was just a reaction to your poor parenting. Why do you hate your child for being molested? It wasn't her fault and it obviously affected her quite dramatically with her lack of luck in love. You are a huge *****, you couldn't possibly have understood the pain of being hated by your own mother and then being raped by some man. You are self centered and stupid may you rot in hell you ungrateful *****.

This is so wrong. You're all terrible parents.

First off, if she was molested, that is obviously be a key to her behavior. You also probably hate her because you're jealous of her.

You all probably have severe psychological issues.

Id like to say that you can't control what type of kids u will have. They are what they are.

I don't think its anyones fault.

But....I do think certain factors contribute to "bad" kids.

Molestation, not having a father, being very beautiful and harassed for it, either in a good way or bad way.

All these things can attribute to it.

And to the poster who said she would get tested and make sure her kids weren't handicaped.....wow what an idiot

You can't always tell what your children will turn out like.

How dare you cast judgement on anyone.

I am sure you are certainly not a perfect mother yourself.

How can I tell? You are a damn divorcee.

You have no right to criticise her since it was probably you that influenced her to be what she is, directly or indirectly doesn't matter.

My father, though has a lousy wife, put up with it for me.

That is true sacrifice in the name of one's children's life.

I understand. I had a child at age 17 and I am a single parent of the child who is now 20. I should never have gotten pregnant. I didn't have good parents. I didn't know how to be a good parent. My parents and I fight (verbally) like cats and dogs. My daughter and I have actually physically faught. I know I'm not perfect. I have a smart mouth. I don't allow people to get too close. I am not a social butterfly. And because I am very blount most people think I'm mean. BUT I have never been in any real trouble a day in my life. I've never gone out of my way to hurt someone. I am a community volunteer. I try to do right by people, the best I know how. Actually, I must not be too bad, people are always around me and for some reason kids love me. Go figure.

ANYWAY-----When I look back on my life I wonder what I could've done to deserve a child like her. I was never wild. I don't smoke. I tried to drink socially when I was younger and it was horrible so I just let it go. I made good choices for my daughter and tried to raise her better than the way I was but I guess I didn't do it right. She actually said to me she has hated me since the day she was born. She's been locked up since she was 12, 3 times total. Her history includes stealing from her family, stealing my car and wrecking it, lying constantly, being used sexually by whoever was available at the time, skipping school, getting in a physical altercation with my dad, and I could go on and on and on. Even after all this I can't bring myself to say to her I hate her but I'm so close. I wish she would just go away. When she is around their is always a problem. Something goes missing or gets broken-she's alway the common factor but never the culprit. Stupid things disappear like cheap dollor store silver wear and drinking glasses. She rambles through our things and denies it then is caught with items that don't belong to her. It got so bad that we had to start hiding soda because she would take a few sips and sit the can down, of couse, denying she did it. Yet when she is not around these things magically stop happening. Most of the arguments I have with my parents (whom we live with at the time due to their age and my mother becoming ill) are because of her. No one wants her in the house. She has had 3 sets of roomates on campus and they all hated her. Other children have hated her ever since she was small. She has no friends. She only deals with people she can use. I don't allow her to get to know my friends because she will instigate trouble that ultimately ends the friendship and I avoid her at all costs. I've had to uproot my life 3 times because she couldn't stay in school. Right now I live in a house where we have hide our purses and keys. When we have parties no one wants to play games if she's playing because she cheats and when she wins a game (like Go Fish) she will throw the cards in the kids faces. I know I'm no mother of the year but even I know you don't fling playing cards in your little cousins faces. She is a sore loser and a cruel winner. The worst part is that she is gorgeous. She is absolutely beautiful. Most people don't believe I'm her mother. They don't think we're related. That how pretty she is. She smart too!! But she is also stupid and her stupid outweighs the smart. Why is she like this? I'm not from the best family but we're hard workers. We don't condone stealing or trouble makeing with others. She wasn't raised around thieves and trouble makers. She is just not a good person. I wish she would admit she has a problem and get help. Its all I can do just to be in the same room with her. So, I know how you feel and I wish I could tell you how to get a happy ending but I have no idea. Just......hang in there.

Thank you for your story. I'm in a funk right now after dealing with my 16 yr. old son who I'm convinced is the rudest, nastiest kid I've ever seen in my well-adjusted, normal world. Where'd we go wrong as parents? Can I really do this for 2 more years, or more?



I learned months ago, the hard way, not to let a bad situation escalate by getting loud, confrontational, or insulting/name calling. So I try to stay calm yet assertive during our bouts, especially those where I get to hear his 'logic' and professional analysis of me. All the while, I hold in the scream dying to jump out of my mouth right into his face: " I hate you back, *******!! "



So after todays argument, I headed outside to sit in the grass with my dogs, buried my head in my lap, let the tears loose, and screamed it quietly. Several times. I don't want him anymore. Let's ship him off to military school. I hate that *******..

The thing is, this doesn't mean I don't love him. These are not mutually exclusive emotions. It's just that hate & resentment prevail, right now. So I find ways to do the right thing, to be the adult and not give him any more fuel for his screwed up teenage fire. I force myself to hug him. I hide my screams. I google 'i hate my son'. These and other 'techniques' give me a little relief and the strength to parent another day, remembering my own teenage years and hoping, praying, THIS TOO SHALL PASS.

I'm glad this worked out for you.

pethetic