My Kids Are Mentally Killing Me...

I thought i could have been the only one that feels like they hate there kids but looking on the net i found lots of other parents who feel like i do. I have 3 kids almost 8, just turned 5, and a 4 month old. All girls. The older 2 are from a previous relationship. And i have them all the time, even tho my ex onlys lives 8 miles away but hes much to busy being single and going to bars and having fun to take his kids. So maybe part of this is just stress caused by him, cause he gets to do whatever he wants but im stuck with OUR kids. My oldest whines all the time and never listens i can tell her 50 times to do something smack her on the but take all her stuff away and she still wont do it. but she expects to go and do and get whatever she wants. And the real problem my middle daughter shes the one that i "hate" i know thats horrible but i do and its not just me my whole family cant stand her, my mom refuses to watch her, she just always does stuff that she knows is bad, wont do anything but make my life hell. Ive tried every way i know to change her but it wont work. i want to call my ex and tell him to take her, but my husband wont let me. Its sad that my husband likes her more then me and shes not even his.  But he works and since the pregnacy and birth of my last child i have been home with the kids. Yea he understands shes the devil but he says if i give her away hes worried that i will lose the other two. And i do worry about that but im not being an unfit mom, i think she will just be better with someone else. Ive always been a bit depressed and well in my teens suicidal and i know having this much stress 24/7 is not good for me. Ive had a headache for the last week, i cry all the time cause of how she is. And i do think of punching her in the face but i dont really ever hurt her except the ocassional smack on the butt. But she makes me wish i was dead, yea that cant be good, can it? im just so lost i dont know what to do anymore. Help please

thanx4this thanx4this
26-30, F
2 Responses Feb 18, 2010

Wow you just summed up my son in a "nut" shell. I am glad, well not glad maybe relieved, that there are others who have the strengh to write what their feeling. The punch in the face part, I can really relate too. I have been close to doing it myself. I restrain myself, cause I don't want him tken from me. Even since my other son passed away (from no fault of my own) I am terrified his not listening behavior will get him hurt or killed. Thankyou for sharing your story, it helps when I can relate to others

I wonder why it would be bad to make daddy help out? He is partying like a kid while you work your *** off. It would help him take on some responsibilities. Your strong willed child could go over there for long visits. Don't let her know or ever think u are giving her up...just say "you need some daddy" time! I had to left my son when he was 4 and came back when he was 7! My son does have anger towards me but I could not help it. I lost it! It was his own good to not be around me till I got better. Now I am stable going to college...he is 18...still difficult to handle...but I am ready now. He was so horrible back then I turned to drugs to stay calm...not the answer! I got so bad off I needed to leave. Now that I have been home for almost 12 years, we have built a relationship up. I don't like him but I love him. I will do all I can to fight for him and support him through life...he is a complainer, nag, pessimist, grouch still today. But, it is so much better the older he got. I just can't wait till he goes to college! I still think you need to get help from the dad or get her on meds.